Kid Dynamite 7167 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Fuckin Ace tbh Could probably cut it in the northern league but really cant be arsed travelling to Penrith and the like every other weekend. As it is im happy playing sunday league. I play up front, fast and cracking shot. Possibly the worst header of a ball you have ever seen though. Did my coaching badges a few years back but coaching isnt half as much fun as playing so havent done any since I got back from the states. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinofbeans 91 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 played a good standard of football for years but the legs are going a bit. old fashioned playmaker wit a left foot that could open a can of beans. can defend a bit too, and often create the most scoring passes in the leagues i play in (last season i created 30 goals for my team) one weakness is i don't score many! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 (edited) This could go either way tbh. I was at the school of excellence under the tutoridge of John Carver for 2 years from the age of 14, was called in for the dreaded "we're letting you go son" speech on my 16th birthday. So having getting that far you could say I'm pretty good but then again they kept Jamie McClen and David Beharall ahead of me!! I thought I had it in the bag tbh cos I was fast, left-footed and could cross and beat people for fun. But thems the breaks. Had a few trials at lower league clubs after that (Ipswich, Swindon, Mackems - the fuckas tried to get me to wear 1 of there shirts at my trial but I insisted on going on the other side!) but nothing worked out. Meenzer will confim I was the best in my school, captain of the football team etc!! Edited March 4, 2008 by Smooth Operator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt 0 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I'm absolute garbage. I can hit a volley OK and my first touch is pretty useful- unlike my second or third touched. I don't usually get a fourth. Can't head, can't run. At work we play a bit of 5-a-side but my fitness is so poor it passes me by. I can look a little less pathetic out on a full-size pitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 not shockingly bad, but.. only just. My positives were my work rate and my stamina, however they've gone the way of dinosaurs and the Dodo, I'm at best average. However I'm not afraid to loose a shot from anywhere and 1 in 5 they scream into the top shelf where mother keeps the biscuits. However mostly they disappear into the stratosphere. I'll stick to watching and understanding football and playing basketball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 not shockingly bad, but.. only just. My positives were my work rate and my stamina, however they've gone the way of dinosaurs and the Dodo, I'm at best average. However I'm not afraid to loose a shot from anywhere and 1 in 5 they scream into the top shelf where mother keeps the biscuits. However mostly they disappear into the stratosphere. I'll stick to watching and understanding football and playing basketball. That's the earliest case of "crying off the summer 5-a-side" I've ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Average. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stevie Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 It's not for me to say how good I am. It's better for other people to comment. All I will say is my fitness is hindering what I used to be. Take it that was a hint for me to step in........ya shite Seriously, you're a good player, but like you said, if you got your fitness up you'd be twice the player. A bit of a mixture of a playing style like. Not to give you a big head but your passing is similar in style to someone like Gudjohnsen ie keeping it on the deck and can spot a good pass. Your shooting, however, ranges between Laurent Robert at his best and Laurent Robert at his worst Let's hope it's the Spurs game of 03/04 for you tonight. Personally I like to think im a half decent keeper. I played like Gudjonsen last neet yes. Aye, Bjarni Gudjonsson! Thanks for the flattering praise though. As for your ability in goal, for someone of 6ft5 you get down very quick, obviously its easier for little fat cunts like that keeper last night to get down, but you still do it well, but the advantage you have is you stand big till the last minute, and you are never beaten from a distance which is good. Fuckin Ace tbh Could probably cut it in the northern league but really cant be arsed travelling to Penrith and the like every other weekend. As it is im happy playing sunday league. I play up front, fast and cracking shot. Possibly the worst header of a ball you have ever seen though. Did my coaching badges a few years back but coaching isnt half as much fun as playing so havent done any since I got back from the states. What a big headed cunt. Who hasn't played in the Northern League? I played in the Northern League, and FA Cup Prelims when I was younger. If I was going to write it in the style of the above minion I would say I'm playing at 30% of my compabilities right now. The problem I have is I'm a fat cunt, I'm not outstandingly fat, but I've always been athletic my whole life, and last 6 month fuckin 16st, I'm tall so you don't notice it as much, but oh dear. My football ability well I kick it like a professional that's not being big headed it's a fact, I think I have good balance for my size, can pick a pass long and shirt, good vision, know when to pass and dribble, strong on the ball, finish well, but..I'm a shit tackler, I give away so many free kicks, and all this is redundant at the minute anyway because my energy levels are so shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7167 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I woke up this morning and couldnt wait to check whether it was you or wacky who was the first to start bitching on The question got asked, I answered. Sorry I didnt lie to keep you happy Stevie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 It's not for me to say how good I am. It's better for other people to comment. All I will say is my fitness is hindering what I used to be. Take it that was a hint for me to step in........ya shite Seriously, you're a good player, but like you said, if you got your fitness up you'd be twice the player. A bit of a mixture of a playing style like. Not to give you a big head but your passing is similar in style to someone like Gudjohnsen ie keeping it on the deck and can spot a good pass. Your shooting, however, ranges between Laurent Robert at his best and Laurent Robert at his worst Let's hope it's the Spurs game of 03/04 for you tonight. Personally I like to think im a half decent keeper. I played like Gudjonsen last neet yes. Aye, Bjarni Gudjonsson! Thanks for the flattering praise though. As for your ability in goal, for someone of 6ft5 you get down very quick, obviously its easier for little fat cunts like that keeper last night to get down, but you still do it well, but the advantage you have is you stand big till the last minute, and you are never beaten from a distance which is good. Fuckin Ace tbh Could probably cut it in the northern league but really cant be arsed travelling to Penrith and the like every other weekend. As it is im happy playing sunday league. I play up front, fast and cracking shot. Possibly the worst header of a ball you have ever seen though. Did my coaching badges a few years back but coaching isnt half as much fun as playing so havent done any since I got back from the states. What a big headed cunt. Who hasn't played in the Northern League? I played in the Northern League, and FA Cup Prelims when I was younger. If I was going to write it in the style of the above minion I would say I'm playing at 30% of my compabilities right now. The problem I have is I'm a fat cunt, I'm not outstandingly fat, but I've always been athletic my whole life, and last 6 month fuckin 16st, I'm tall so you don't notice it as much, but oh dear. My football ability well I kick it like a professional that's not being big headed it's a fact, I think I have good balance for my size, can pick a pass long and shirt, good vision, know when to pass and dribble, strong on the ball, finish well, but..I'm a shit tackler, I give away so many free kicks, and all this is redundant at the minute anyway because my energy levels are so shit. Me for one. How did you see J69's post as being a dig at you btw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I'm like one of them ball juggling half time entertainers. Canny average once a proper game gets started like. The keepy ups aren't much use then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Just a tad too unfit now I was a canny goalkeeper in my youth but would play anywhere really - I just loved playing football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I'm a good shot-stopper if I play in goal, but I never use my hands as much as my feet. You can save alot more with the feet I reckon. Outfield I'm an offensive-minded left back. Slide in alot but don't always get the ball. Can't shoot for shit but my crossing ain't half bad. Never tried to play seriously though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bawan 0 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Like Stevie said its not for me to say how good or bad I am. But what I will say is that I don't have a lot of power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Bawan is absolute gash and I have always said this tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Like Stevie said its not for me to say how good or bad I am. But what I will say is could I be any worse than Alan Smith? FYP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 It's not for me to say, but I'll tell you who's fucking terrible like; Gemmill. Touch like a regsitered sex offender, with the shirt to match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigThompers Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Stevie is the best. Everyone just agree to stop another Chav-attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 It's not for me to say, but I'll tell you who's fucking terrible like; Gemmill. Touch like a regsitered sex offender, with the shirt to match. I reckon Fish is shite too. Judging by the no-show. Turned up for the meal iirc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Turned up for the meal in his dinner jacket no less. 'Proper' diner tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Turned up for the meal in his dinner jacket no less. 'Proper' diner tbh. "It's after 6 o'clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?" [/Jack Donaghy] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Never claimed to be good, I am fucking stylish however Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Never claimed to be good, I am fucking stylish however You reckon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Never claimed to be good, I am fucking stylish however Most stylish person in the old folks home, and he doesn't piss the bed. Those GILFs must be all over him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Never claimed to be good, I am fucking stylish however You reckon? yup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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