Jimbo 175 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Radio Times has come up with a list of 25 favourite witty one-liners, with the help of television critic John Naughton. TOP 25 1. Basil Fawlty John Cleese, Fawlty Towers Sybil: "Don't shout at me, I've had a difficult morning." Basil: "Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your éclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?" 2. Mrs Merton Caroline Aherne, The Mrs Merton Show To Debbie McGee: "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?" 3. Edmund Blackadder Rowan Atkinson, Blackadder II To the unremittingly dim Lord Percy: "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?" 4. Roseanne Conner Roseanne Barr, Roseanne To screen husband Dan (John Goodman): "Your idea of romance is popping the can away from my face." 5. Patsy Stone Joanna Lumley, ABsolutely FABulous "One more facelift on this one and she'll have a beard" 6. Father Jack Hackett Frank Kelly, Father Ted "Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!" 7. Carla Tortelli Lebec Rhea Perlman, Cheers Barfly Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man." Carla: "I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it, either." 8. Jim Royle Ricky Tomlinson, The Royle Family His mother-in-law Norma: "Is this hat too far forward?" Jim: "No. We can still see your face." 9. Malcolm Tucker Peter Capaldi, The Thick of It To a junior minister after his inept, blinking confrontation with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight: "All these hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra! It was like watching John Leslie at work!" 10. Statler and Waldorf The old men, The Muppet Show Statler: "Wake up you old fool, you slept through the show." Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You watched it." 11 Inspector Monkfish John Actor/Simon Day, The Fast Show To a recently bereaved woman: "I realise this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea!" 12. To WPC: "I notice you're not wearing a wedding ring, which given your age means you're divorced or a lesbian". 13. Rupert Rigsby Leonard Rossiter, Rising Damp To Alan, his lazy student lodger, who complains his room is too cold for him to study in: "The only thing you study is your navel. You even shave lying down." 14. Gran Catherine Tate, The Catherine Tate Show In hospital, describing to her grandson an encounter with an overweight volunteer: "She said to me last time, 'You look bored, Mrs Taylor. I've got three words for you: Barbara Taylor Bradford.' So I said, 'Yeah? I've got three words for you, too: calorie-controlled diet.' " 15. The Professors Rob Newman and David Baddiel, The Mary Whitehouse Experience "I have here a copy of your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo." "That's because it's been inside your mum's bra." 16 Alf Garnett Warren Mitchell, Till Death Us Do Part "You Scouse git!" 17 Alexis Carrington Joan Collins, Dynasty "I'm glad to see your father had your teeth fixed - if not your mouth." 18. JR Ewing Larry Hagman, Dallas About his half-brother, Ray Krebbs: "Ray never was comfortable eating with the family; we do use knives and forks." 19. Arnold Rimmer Chris barrie, Red Dwarf "Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence" 20. Dr Cox John C McGinley, Scrubs Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether!" Dr Perry Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the ones in the little mud huts - let me be the first to say thanks and hallelujah!" 21. Dr Gregory House Hugh Laurie, House "You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to stop thinking." 22. Gary Strang Martin Clunes, Men Behaving Badly Laddish knockabout as Gary rates flatmate Tony's chances with upstairs tenant Deborah: "Let's face it, Tony, the only way you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex." 23. Larry David Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm "Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate." 24. Sam Tyler John Simm, Life on Mars In an exchange with DCI Gene Hunt: Gene: "I think you've forgotten who you're talking to." Sam: "An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?" Gene: "You make that sound like a bad thing." 25. Captain Mainwaring, Arthur lowe, dad's army "You stupid boy" ends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I used to love Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 14. Gran Catherine Tate, The Catherine Tate Show List void tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15870 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Good to know our licence fee is being well spent, anyway. (© Daily Mail) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 14. Gran Catherine Tate, The Catherine Tate Show List void tbh WHS. The Father Ted one wasn't a put down either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7317 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I used to love Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 22535 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 how could they leave out this ari gold classic from entourage? Ari: Tell Drama he's on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11079 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 shit, on the whole... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Would have to agree. Poo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 11 Inspector Monkfish John Actor/Simon Day, The Fast Show To a recently bereaved woman: "I realise this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 (edited) Edited February 26, 2008 by Wacky Jnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3640 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 how could they leave out this ari gold classic from entourage? Ari: Tell Drama he's on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock! The character Ari would be able to fill a list of 25 all on his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Photo taken so far away you can barely even tell they are outside the Cheers bar tbh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Lincoln Burrows: "You fell for it bitch" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stevie Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I know it's much flawed not as good etc etc but I still enjoyed the third series of Auf Wiedersehen Pet, it was canny. My favourite one liner from it was a bit cheesy on overused but I liked it due to the situation. Barry was moaning on, whinging and being a really boring cunt, everyone was sick of him, and Oz gans "Barry ye naa what, lookuh, if this was Big Brother yeed be the forst one oot that door." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15870 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I've been to the Cheers bar too (not that that's where they filmed it, nor is it even actually called Cheers). Didn't notice a red arrow and the word "CUNT" hovering above my head though. Some people have all the luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7317 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Toilet wall humour tbh. Only not as funny Unless youre SO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My Dad's mate went to the Cheers bar and he kept going on about how it was different inside when he got back. I'm suprised, looking back, that he wasn't shocked that Cliff and Norm weren't in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My Dad's mate went to the Cheers bar and he kept going on about how it was different inside when he got back. I'm suprised, looking back, that he wasn't shocked that Cliff and Norm weren't in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My Dad's mate went to the Cheers bar and he kept going on about how it was different inside when he got back. I'm suprised, looking back, that he wasn't shocked that Cliff and Norm weren't in. I bet he was expecting a huge cheer to come from somewhere when one of them walked in.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My Dad's mate went to the Cheers bar and he kept going on about how it was different inside when he got back. I'm suprised, looking back, that he wasn't shocked that Cliff and Norm weren't in. I bet he was expecting a huge cheer to come from somewhere when one of them walked in.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 4183 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 I know it's much flawed not as good etc etc but I still enjoyed the third series of Auf Wiedersehen Pet, it was canny. My favourite one liner from it was a bit cheesy on overused but I liked it due to the situation. Barry was moaning on, whinging and being a really boring cunt, everyone was sick of him, and Oz gans "Barry ye naa what, lookuh, if this was Big Brother yeed be the forst one oot that door." I know its not a put down, but Oz's wife came out with my favourite line ever. defending her god awful coat she said "Hey, this is genuine imitation oscelott this,pet" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 22 posts and not a "plonker" to be found. You must all be 24 carat plonkers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 David Brent's "Chris, why don't you fuck off?" to Finchy in The Office christmas special. Less is more you see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 David Brent's "Chris, why don't you fuck off?" to Finchy in The Office christmas special. Less is more you see. Aye, that was great in the context of the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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