Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3508 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? Have you never seen how a wedge works man???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 (edited) The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? You gently part one away from the other, like pulling a record back. You don't have to goatse.cx the fucker. Edited June 2, 2008 by Happy Face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Thought about trying a sit wipe earlier...Just burst out laughing at the laudicrosity of it. Another thing. The sitters can't be doing much valued middle finger work from the sitting position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? You gently part one away from the other, like pulling a record pack. You don't have to goatse.cx the fucker. So youve got 1 cheek spread and the other cheek normal? May as well shit on the floor and then sit in it tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 One thing's for sure, the standers' craic is much better. Standing after a shit is the source of wit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? You gently part one away from the other, like pulling a record pack. You don't have to goatse.cx the fucker. So youve got 1 cheek spread and the other cheek normal? May as well shit on the floor and then sit in it tbh. Using the spare hand allows greater cheek dexterity when wiping, you can increase or decrease the gap at your leisure to increase coverage & cleanliness with every wipe. You on the other hand, sit there, relying on the rim to keep you splayed with no regard to the kind of wipe the movement you passed requires. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? You gently part one away from the other, like pulling a record pack. You don't have to goatse.cx the fucker. So youve got 1 cheek spread and the other cheek normal? May as well shit on the floor and then sit in it tbh. Using the spare hand allows greater cheek dexterity when wiping, you can increase or decrease the gap at your leisure to increase coverage & cleanliness with every wipe. You on the other hand, sit there, relying on the rim to keep you splayed with no regard to the kind of wipe the movement you passed requires. I'd say it's akin to flying blind. Little known fact: Newton discovered gravity primarily due to his habit of standing to wipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Is that so? Its also a little known fact that newspapers, magazines and books were invented by sitters needing something to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 (edited) The toilet seat is actually designed to sit while wiping. The contours stretch the cheeks apart so maximum wipage can be achieved. Those who stand push their cheeks together causing aditional clagnuts. So standers equals doity bastards. You use your free hand to keep them cheeks apart man. Do you sitters need one hand free to wank while you wipe or something? Deviants. How the fucking hell in gods name do you keep 2 cheeks apart with 1 hand? You gently part one away from the other, like pulling a record pack. You don't have to goatse.cx the fucker. So youve got 1 cheek spread and the other cheek normal? May as well shit on the floor and then sit in it tbh. Using the spare hand allows greater cheek dexterity when wiping, you can increase or decrease the gap at your leisure to increase coverage & cleanliness with every wipe. You on the other hand, sit there, relying on the rim to keep you splayed with no regard to the kind of wipe the movement you passed requires. I'd say it's akin to flying blind. Little known fact: Newton discovered gravity primarily due to his habit of standing to wipe. He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. Edited June 2, 2008 by Happy Face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. I know. That's why I said 'something like'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Well I suppose ing in the bath could have a similar effect, it would have to be quite a big one though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Eureka (Greek "I have found it") is an exclamation used as an interjection to celebrate a discovery. Archimedes was clearly a sitter and had discovered the best way to wipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Well I suppose ing in the bath could have a similar effect, it would have to be quite a big one though. What difference would the size of the bath have? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Eureka (Greek "I have found it") is an exclamation used as an interjection to celebrate a discovery. Archimedes was clearly a sitter and had discovered the best way to wipe. Clearly having a bath because he still felt dirty after sitting to wipe his arse all the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The sitters must be using one of these i reckon, only feasible explanation for it. http://www.dynamic-living.com/product/bott...-tissue-holder/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The sitters must be using one of these i reckon, only feasible explanation for it. http://www.dynamic-living.com/product/bott...-tissue-holder/ www.solutionstoproblemsthatdontexist.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The sitters must be using one of these i reckon, only feasible explanation for it. http://www.dynamic-living.com/product/bott...-tissue-holder/ www.solutionstoproblemsthatdontexist.com Comes with it's own travel pouch as well. Can just see Gemmil carrying it on his belt like an additional mobile phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I think I saw Craig with one of those at the last piss up-coming back from the bog at Strada. Put it down next to his dessert spoon if you please. I didn't have a fucking clue what it was at the time like, naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 He heard the 'plop', formulated his hypothesis based on the shit's drop then jumped up onto his feet and shouted something like "Eureka!". ...then wiped his arse. "Eureka" was Archimedes fyi. Well I suppose ing in the bath could have a similar effect, it would have to be quite a big one though. What difference would the size of the bath have? The opposite of the size of the in noticeable displacement. And a very big bath with a very small might just have given rise to the legend of the terror from the deep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The sitters must be using one of these i reckon, only feasible explanation for it. http://www.dynamic-living.com/product/bott...-tissue-holder/ www.solutionstoproblemsthatdontexist.com Comes with it's own travel pouch as well. Can just see Gemmil carrying it on his belt like an additional mobile phone. The Bottom Buddy™ is 11" long and weighs 4 ounces. Travels easily in its own travel pouch. Oo er Finally, a personal hygiene toiletry aid to help maintain your privacy in the bathroom! A shitty stick to beat off strangers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I think I saw Craig with one of those at the last piss up-coming back from the bog at Strada. Put it down next to his dessert spoon if you please. I didn't have a fucking clue what it was at the time like, naturally. I wouldn't be suprised after reading the reviews.... "Bottom Buddy™ saved my self esteem! I had gained weight after my knee surgery and found it impossible to reach where I needed to. I keep one in my desk at work and can feel comfortable and confident." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 The Bottom Buddy™ A.K.A Meenzer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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