Tooj 17 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Would you like me to clear this one up for you? Those who stand to wipe are stinky, poo-squishing, dirty boys. If I'd known you'd be sitting down to wipe this week I'd have never let you through the front door you scruffy bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Would you like me to clear this one up for you? Those who stand to wipe are stinky, poo-squishing, dirty boys. If I'd known you'd be sitting down to wipe this week I'd have never let you through the front door you scruffy bitch! I wondered what you were on about when I heard you shout "I'm fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiished!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 It's canny funny really though because it has simply stemmed from the fact that their parents never told them that they were no longer required to stand up to have their arses wiped. How fucking silly do you need to be ffs? I bet Sammy still tucks his t-shirt into his kegs after he's finished wiping. It's a conscious choice you dirty fucking pan-rifler. I've tried both methods and the faces I found myself pulling while wiping sat down were simply un Christian. It's the behaviour of a deviant and it makes you look like Marty Feldman ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 46016 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Bollocks, I bet you're stood for a good 5 seconds motionless before you remember your mam isn't coming to wipe for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14013 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I'd honestly never heard of people standing up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigThompers Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I'd honestly never heard of people standing up! Me neither. I actually would stop any mates from using my toilet if I knew they were going to be creaming off a brown one then standing up to clean themselves. They might as well sit on the carpet and skid along it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Would you like me to clear this one up for you? Those who stand to wipe are stinky, poo-squishing, dirty boys. I'm putting Cath's medical expertise ahead of yours Luke... Taking your life into your hands there mate, she's a nurse, they don't know anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Not standing to wipe just strikes me as some sort of motoneuron failure tbh. Sat there, collapsed rifling about in the pan ffs. Nothankyouverymuch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul 0 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I do both... depends what mood I'm in I guess Sit down 90% of the time though I'd say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I do both... depends what mood I'm in I guess Sit down 90% of the time though I'd say Blatantly Bio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 The 'parents' aspect to this debate is the biggest red herring in Christendom. Tell me sitter how do you part your cheeks to get good access and follow through? That's right you don't... Evolution will take care of the sitters. FACT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I can't get this image from my head of the dirty sitters on here walking around with the rear of their nut sacks covered in excrement, wiping forward, FFS it prehistoric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Our differences are what make us special, sit down or stand, forwards or back, fold and re-use or disregard after every wipe, rub like you're cleaning the brasses or swipe like you're painting a fence. We should celebrate those differences but remember, we all shit brown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I can't get this image from my head of the dirty sitters on here walking around with the rear of their nut sacks covered in excrement, wiping forward, FFS it prehistoric. It's probably a low self-esteem issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I can't get this image from my head of the dirty sitters on here walking around with the rear of their nut sacks covered in excrement, wiping forward, FFS it prehistoric. It's probably a low self-esteem issue. It's definitely a co-ordination issue if nowt else. Basically unable to stand and wipe at the same time. You want to see some of them trying to run and control a football ffs. Seriously I'm onto something there-try picking a five-a-side team out of that sitters roll of shame, you're having a fucking laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Just for the record - im a sitter and i dont wipe forwards or backwards. I scoop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 (edited) I can't get this image from my head of the dirty sitters on here walking around with the rear of their nut sacks covered in excrement, wiping forward, FFS it prehistoric. It's probably a low self-esteem issue. It's definitely a co-ordination issue if nowt else. Basically unable to stand and wipe at the same time. You want to see some of them trying to run and control a football ffs. Seriously I'm onto something there-try picking a five-a-side team out of that sitters roll of shame, you're having a fucking laugh. I'm happy to go with it, especially if we're moving into the realms of a Eastern European style Pavlovian based drooling spectacle. A case could be made for a semi-reflexive deep subconscious response to a hidden anxiety of arse rape (fear of standing) during toileting activities. Edited May 30, 2008 by Park Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. They're probably semi-standing but in denial. **See my previous post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Is this still going!? Jesus wiped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3508 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Is this still going!? Jesus wiped. Sometimes standing upright, sometimes seated and on the 7th day... FYP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6700 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. Bollocks, you're changing the rules to suit now Standing is with straight back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. Bollocks, you're changing the rules to suit now Standing is with straight back... Fuck off. Standing is holding all your weight on your feet. You're talking about standing straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6700 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. Bollocks, you're changing the rules to suit now Standing is with straight back... Fuck off. Standing is holding all your weight on your feet. You're talking about standing straight. I still don't 'stand' even by your theory.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I still can't comprehend it like. Sitters, where's your weight when you wipe? Is it all on the rim? That would be sitting. If you shift all your weight to your feet to get access though, then even in a seated position, you're still standing. Bollocks, you're changing the rules to suit now Standing is with straight back... Fuck off. Standing is holding all your weight on your feet. You're talking about standing straight. I still don't 'stand' even by your theory.... Filthy monster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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