Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 It was in a hick town in South Jersey with a girl who had a boyfriend. She kissed me, I didn't respond. I can't remember the first time I actually kissed someone back. Most of the time I was taken by surprise. My first proper one was probably with a nice girl in London. My best have all been with my current girlfriend. Lasses just pooping out of bushes throwing the lips on you all the time, I bet. What can I say? I can't help it! But seriously, it was more just that I was taken completely by surprise the first few times. Surprise kisses are nice. But yet suprise sex is frowned upon. It's not rape if you shout 'surprise'. I've never understood that. Why does warning a girl of your actions suddenly mean she's consenting to them? As for my first kiss, I was 13, it was with a tubby girl who had a load of experience and she was lovely. She then proceeded to dump me the week before Valentine's Day and asked me out again the following week. Hmm... That's the dictonary definition for cruelty surely? Relationships at that age don't count. I was recently contacted by a lass on facebook who I finished when we were 14 by getting my mates to tell her she wasn't cool enough for me!! She was ginga after all. We had a good laugh about it then alarmingly she reeled off my list of teenage lovers from start to finish!!! Was there all night!! Aye, all double-barrelled names thats why, you silver spoon ponce! Posh fanny is dirty fanny - fact. Usually only took half a glass of pimms to get them on their backs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh fanny is all licking caviar off your bell and spitting champers up your hoop. Nowt better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh fanny is all licking caviar off your bell and spitting champers up your hoop. Nowt better. Sole reason we used to walk past Central High Girls School on the way home! Although we had to drop Meenzer off first as he cramped our style and was simply far too gay back in the day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh fanny is all licking caviar off your bell and spitting champers up your hoop. Nowt better. Sole reason we used to walk past Central High Girls School on the way home! Although we had to drop Meenzer off first as he cramped our style and was simply far too gay back in the day! I bet he was like the kid who is the stylist in School of Rock back then. Back on topic though, i used to think a fizzy arse was what you got after 10 pints and too many peanuts until i met that posh lass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 What the fucks all this with the Bollinger enemas Chez? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh birds mancy, they're all twisted. It was Cristal anyway pleb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Fuck me. It's Asda Cava and Princes' crab paste with me and wor lass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh fanny is all licking caviar off your bell and spitting champers up your hoop. Nowt better. Sole reason we used to walk past Central High Girls School on the way home! Although we had to drop Meenzer off first as he cramped our style and was simply far too gay back in the day! I bet he was like the kid who is the stylist in School of Rock back then. Back on topic though, i used to think a fizzy arse was what you got after 10 pints and too many peanuts until i met that posh lass. Stylist suggests he has some sort of style, Meenzer is the very opposite of stylish. A horrendous blunder being a fag-hag! How he has the audacity to go to G.A.Y on a regular basis is beyond me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 6, 2007 Author Share Posted December 6, 2007 Fuck me. It's Asda Cava and Princes' crab paste with me and wor lass. I can often get through the evening with a bit of mystery meat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Spookily she has just added me to facebook, Parky and his magic powers strike again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 175 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Posh fanny is all licking caviar off your bell and spitting champers up your hoop. Nowt better. No wonder The Fish sulks about not going to boarding school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4098 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 I don't remember a great deal about it, but I know I'd have been around 11 and she was about a year older. Must have been crap, mind. Meenzer, scared by a Beaver at a young age and never been near one since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4098 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Nicola Jude at the school Disco. She was dressed as minnie mouse at the time. i love disneyland now like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest James_coDurham Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. Were you even born then? I seriously hope not otherwise there is no explanation for your posts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. To difficult and complex for a no-pussy-getting-motherfucka like you to handle? Keep on wanking son, one day it'll happen for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 (edited) Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. To difficult and complex for a no-pussy-getting-motherfucka like you to handle? Keep on wanking son, one day it'll happen for you. Still shooting tatty watta tbh. The closest he gets to a bit of fanny is painting his finger nails, sticking a couple of his mothers sovs on and wanking Edited December 7, 2007 by Wacky Jnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. To difficult and complex for a no-pussy-getting-motherfucka like you to handle? Keep on wanking son, one day it'll happen for you. Still shooting tatty watta tbh. The closest he gets to a bit of fanny is painting his finger nails, sticking a couple of his mothers sovs on and wanking Aye with a cucumber shoved up his arse for good measure, may as well copy his mothers sex habits while he's on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest James_coDurham Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 (edited) Mrs Gejon, in 1992. I must have been awesome, her gash was like a fucking ski slope. To difficult and complex for a no-pussy-getting-motherfucka like you to handle? Keep on wanking son, one day it'll happen for you. Still shooting tatty watta tbh. The closest he gets to a bit of fanny is painting his finger nails, sticking a couple of his mothers sovs on and wanking Aye with a cucumber shoved up his arse for good measure, may as well copy his mothers sex habits while he's on. Rather have a wank than let on to any of the female species that I shop in Aldi, tbh. At least your lass isn't a gold digger, with you for the luxurious lifestyle! Edited December 7, 2007 by James_coDurham Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Your comebacks just get better by the day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest James_coDurham Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Your comebacks just get better by the day Yours don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Like the way Thompers tries to take the piss out of me and just gets abused back before I even get to see the post Loser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Yer mam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Your comebacks just get better by the day Yours don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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