Christmas Tree 4821 Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 These new 3D TVs are so realistic. I fell asleep whilst watching a Liverpool game and when I woke my fucking wallet was gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jock 0 Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 two lumps of sick walking down the road one says to the other this street brings back memories for me...the other one says hows that......the first one says ........i was brought up here . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33828 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Gennaro walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe shop twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price Of the shoes, 300 Euros, and purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community Holds a dance in the church basement. Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear His new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time. He asks Sophia to dance and As they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?' Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, But how do you know?' Gennaro answers, 'I see the reflection in my new 300 Euro Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?' Next he asks Rosa to dance, And after a few minutes he asks, 'Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?' Rosa answers, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do, But how do you know that?' He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new 300 Euro Boccelli leather shoes... How do you like them?' Now as the evening is almost over And the last song is being played, Gennaro asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face Turns red... He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart, Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, Please, please, tella me this true!' Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight...' Gennaro gasps, 'Thanka God .... ....I thought I had a CRACK in my 300 Euro Boccelli leather shoes!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4857 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 that was fucking awful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33828 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 that was fucking awful No fucking sense of humour, you, then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acid 0 Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 If you say Pete Tong out loud very quickly in a slight Chinese accent it sounds like Big Dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 No it doesn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43064 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Why don't the daleks just eat an apple a day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Why don't the daleks just eat an apple a day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43064 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Lobster, Scouser, Crab, Shark. which is the odd one out?.... The shark. All the others wear a shell suit and pinch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 My mate is shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked him how do you tell them apart? He said Easy, Sally's got long blonde hair, and Derek's got a moustache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43064 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Iron Man is a superhero Iron Woman is an order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15716 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43064 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Proper cerebral that like Keep meaning to get to his museum at The Hague. If only they'd move it the Dam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and the barman says "Escher walks into a bar, and.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I'm waiting for Kevin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 2nd Brightest, y'know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. I'm shocked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. I'm shocked. Yeah, Dave... go fuck yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 43064 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. It's referring to a DJ who repeats himself- MC Escher. Spotify him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. I'm shocked. Yeah, Dave... go fuck yourself. What an intellectual heavyweight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I read it earlier when he posted it, no i don't get it. I'm shocked. Yeah, Dave... go fuck yourself. What an intellectual heavyweight. What a cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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