Smeeagain. Berb turns Jim Davisonish

[bobbyshinton 59]

May offend Esp. females. sorry

 

 

 

 

 

What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Internet

2) Telephone

3) Telawoman

 

 

 

Why do hunters make the best lovers?

 

Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

 

 

 

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

 

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

 

 

 

 

What should you give a woman who has everything?

 

A man to show her how to work it.

 

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

 

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

 

 

 

 

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

 

After 10 years the job still sucks.

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What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

 

 

 

 

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?

 

 

 

 

 

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

 

 

 

When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

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How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

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Put a nipple on it.

[geordieshandy 0]

Some canny ones there Berb like.

[Brock Manson 0]

A guy is going on a scuba diving holiday in the Red Sea, and after a few lessons from an instructor, feels confident enough to go out on his own.

 

He's admiring all the wonderful colours of the fish and coral on the sea floor, when he sees a man with no diving equipment below him. Thinking to himself how impressive such a feat is, he nods to the bloke and decides to dive a little deeper to see if there's anything more to see.

 

After a short while, he sees the same man again, still with no gear on and looking up at him. Still thoroughly impressed, the diver grabs his slate and writes:

"I had no idea you could go scuba diving without any gear!"

 

The man reads the slate, takes it from him and writes:

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"I'm drowning you arsehole."

[bobbyshinton 59]

A guy is going on a scuba diving holiday in the Red Sea, and after a few lessons from an instructor, feels confident enough to go out on his own.

 

He's admiring all the wonderful colours of the fish and coral on the sea floor, when he sees a man with no diving equipment below him. Thinking to himself how impressive such a feat is, he nods to the bloke and decides to dive a little deeper to see if there's anything more to see.

 

After a short while, he sees the same man again, still with no gear on and looking up at him. Still thoroughly impressed, the diver grabs his slate and writes:

"I had no idea you could go scuba diving without any gear!"

 

The man reads the slate, takes it from him and writes:

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"I'm drowning you arsehole."

 

 

[luckyluke 2]

A guy is going on a scuba diving holiday in the Red Sea, and after a few lessons from an instructor, feels confident enough to go out on his own.

 

He's admiring all the wonderful colours of the fish and coral on the sea floor, when he sees a man with no diving equipment below him. Thinking to himself how impressive such a feat is, he nods to the bloke and decides to dive a little deeper to see if there's anything more to see.

 

After a short while, he sees the same man again, still with no gear on and looking up at him. Still thoroughly impressed, the diver grabs his slate and writes:

"I had no idea you could go scuba diving without any gear!"

 

The man reads the slate, takes it from him and writes:

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"I'm drowning you arsehole."

 

Fuck off.