Guest alex Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I get on canny well with all my family. It's only when you get a bit older you realise how lucky you are if you're in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg 6 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Get on very well with my Dad, which can only be a good thing. Lost my mother when I was 10, perhaps why I am so close to and get on very well with my Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcastlebroon 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I personally havent had problems with immediate family, but my dad doesnt speak to a brother and sister of his. I understand why he doesnt but I dont think I could ever get to that point no matter what my brother did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I wont go into my family business, but I think relations, immediate or otherwise, are just accidents of birth and there is no prerequisite to get on with any of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radgina 1 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Get on really well with my stepdad, he is one of my bestbuds , but put me and mother in the same room for more than two hours and there will be fireworks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15115 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Get on really well with my dad and I'm almost unreasonably proud of what he's achieved in life, particularly considering how much it used to wind me up that he was hardly ever at home when I was a young 'un. My mum has major issues with my inability to be a grandchild conveyor belt, but we get on well enough as long as we tiptoe around the subject and talk about gardening or the weather instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FCUM 1 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Sound advice that. That isn't to have a pop at anyone on here who doesn't speak to a family member, not knowing their particular circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3161 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I still get on well with them, although my dad does my head in, he can be a selfish sanctimonious sod at times, I get on well with my mum still, although she's not well at the moment. Interesting this one Jimbo...I remember you claiming on here previously that you were fundementally selfish despite having a wife and kids. Sins of the father...? Your thoughts please. HHmm maybe, to be fair, I'd say I was not very thoughtful rather than fundementally selfish, I do have elements of selfishness but I do my best to snap out of it when I can, although I do see traits of my father in me I do try and irradicate them as soon as they are recognised. Yeah sorry mate I was just parahphrasing from memory. It's interesting stuff like as I can start to see my parents' influence in me as I get towards the three and zero. "it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that this is not just "Something That Happened." This cannot be "One of those things..."" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! He was just speaking from experience mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! You're right, sometimes they can't, but there are cases where family members don't talk to each other and it's been so long that they've practically forgotten the reasons why they're not speaking to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Get on really well with my dad despite him being REALLY annoying and a bit rude (ie if he has something to say, doesn't matter who he is in conversation with but he will start saying it even if they are in mid sentence!). Me and my mum are so alike its unreal (no jokes about both having tits etc! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! You're right, sometimes they can't, but there are cases where family members don't talk to each other and it's been so long that they've practically forgotten the reasons why they're not speaking to each other. But why the need to speak?? Granted, people don't have to be nasty to each other, but I can't see the necessity to speak, just because they are family members. The term 'long time dead' means nowt imo. When we're dead, all emotion/feeling/thought process/regret is non existant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! You're right, sometimes they can't, but there are cases where family members don't talk to each other and it's been so long that they've practically forgotten the reasons why they're not speaking to each other. But why the need to speak?? Granted, people don't have to be nasty to each other, but I can't see the necessity to speak, just because they are family members. The term 'long time dead' means nowt imo. When we're dead, all emotion/feeling/thought process/regret is non existant. I think what I meant was that in the case of people who are just to stubborn to make the first move in making amends when they'd really quite like to, and then there's regret if something were to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Me mam saying on Sunday: "You illness is just an excuse to be horrible to me" pretty much epitomises our relationship. Only a few months until I can move out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3161 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! He was just speaking from experience mate. I know Alex and I can't speak for anyone but myself, it's just I've heard it before and it's usually from people who haven't experienced the shite that comes from a crap parent. In a perfect world all our mams and dads would be great people, perfect role models but it ain't a perfect world and parents can be arses just like that twat/charva/whatever that you turn your nose up in the street/pub/work. Cath, yes you are right, some people do forget, but I bet bob is just like me and remembers exactly why he has nothing to do with his father - just because they were the sperm donor, doesn't make them a father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! You're right, sometimes they can't, but there are cases where family members don't talk to each other and it's been so long that they've practically forgotten the reasons why they're not speaking to each other. But why the need to speak?? Granted, people don't have to be nasty to each other, but I can't see the necessity to speak, just because they are family members. The term 'long time dead' means nowt imo. When we're dead, all emotion/feeling/thought process/regret is non existant. I think what I meant was that in the case of people who are just to stubborn to make the first move in making amends when they'd really quite like to, and then there's regret if something were to happen. In that instance I agree with you. If one or both parties desires to speak, they should do so without hesitation. Unfortunately, this is one of life's frailties; the fear of failure/rejection or ridicule. I have told my kids that if they desire something (I feel the word 'want' is wrong) then they should ask for it. If they get a rejection then at least they have tried. If they get ridiculed then they should not feel embarassed but pity for the person doing the ridicule. How many boys or girls don't ask someone they fancy for something, just because of fear of ridicule? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FCUM 1 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I understand why in some families there are valid reasons why they no longer speak but in a lot of cases it's just sheer stupidity. My old man was really close to one of his brothers, used to see each other for a pint every week right through their married lives despite not living in the same town. His brother got himself into some financial trouble and my old man lent him some money. The brother was then obviously too embarassed to get in touch because he couldn't pay it back. My old man felt like he couldn't get in touch with him because it would look like he was chasing him for the money, even though he wasn't bothered about it and had written it off to help him out. End result they didn't speak a word for the 15 years before they both died. Both ended up losing their best mate over nowt I'd urge anybody to think long & hard about why they don't speak to their family, it might be a valid reason but it soon becomes too late to rectify it. You are a long time dead! Fuck me, do you think you can simplify it any more? Sometimes things can't be worked out and that's fucking life! Probably didn't word that very well, Sammy. I accept that there often valid reasons for it (I have a friend who was sexually abused by her father who quite obviously & quite rightly will have fuck all to do with him) but equally some people let pointless things drag on needlessly then regret it when it's too late. I've heard countless stories of people who wished they had done something about it before it was too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I go to me mams for my tea every Thursday and I go to my dads/the pub/he comes to mine every Tuesday. Get on with both brilliant, though I did move back in for a couple of weeks a few years ago and it quickly descended into a living hell. I became George Costanza. One thing that annoys me about my dad though, he ALWAYS slags me off for paying to go to the football and supporting the Toon. He's from the Isle of man and has never really followed a specific team, though he does like the game. He cannot grasp anyone lining the pockets of the prima donna players and constantly being disappointed by them. I suppose he's right, but it gets annoying when we're getting trounced and he sends a sarky text saying "Oh dear!" What a twat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Cath, yes you are right, some people do forget, but I bet bob is just like me and remembers exactly why he has nothing to do with his father - just because they were the sperm donor, doesn't make them a father. I completely agree with you. I'm lucky in that my dad is my best mate and is the one person I can always rely on. I know not everyone is that lucky because parents are human beings first and not always the kind of human beings that you'd ever associate with had fate not dictated so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3161 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Oh by the way, my mum is one of the most amazing people you will ever meet, unfortunately she comes from that generation that believed you tried to keep the family together at all costs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbyshinton 59 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 (edited) Oh by the way, my mum is one of the most amazing people you will ever meet, unfortunately she comes from that generation that believed you tried to keep the family together at all costs. My mother split from my real father when I was 3, so I never knew him, he died a couple of years ago. Seemingly I have step sisters n brothers. Never been interested in seeing him (especially now ) but when I found out he had died I was a bit upset My mother married the bloke who people class as my dad and I was adopted by him. Always thought him to be a twat but as we get older we get on better. My mother fucked of and left him when I was 14, so the poor bloke was left with someone elses kid so I think he has been good to me (twat) My mother (slut) then married another bloke, stuck up C*nt. he now claims to be my step dad (no way hose) Anyway only parents I have ever got on with are my grand parents who brought me up, and in later years took me in when I was in trouble or needing somewhere to live. Got hoyed out the hoose at 15. Edited February 26, 2007 by bobbyshinton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10430 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 get on with my fokls amazingly well, really close and are there for eachother in whatever way we can, be it simply popping to the pub to listen to my dad have a gripe about things and then talk shite and laugh, or taking my mam out for a dinner/lunch thing and catching up. The best thing about my folks; they're absolutely delighted when I go home, dote on me when I'm there, but they allow me to repay them any way I can. They're proud of the things I have acheived and (eventually)forgive me when I've fucked up, but aren't afraid to bollock me or lay on the guilt trip when I've done something that deserves it. My sisters however are utter C**ts and I hold them in very low regard. They sponge from my parents, they take advantage of my mothers charity of spirit and my fathers financial generosity. One is 32 and still takes washing round to my mam, while she's there she'll pick up frozen portions of food to micorwave when she gets back tot he house that was half paid for by my dad. The other is 27 still living at home, no intention of improving her lot in life, she has basically prevented my folks retiring to their Scottish dream house because there was "nowhere in Newcastle she could afford to live". Both slag me off behind my back and in front of my face, they belittle anything I've done and exaggerrate any fuck up. They're both a horrible, small minded, self destructive, fraction of a person and I doubt after my folks pass on I'll make a massive effort to stay in touch. I reckon it'll be two weeks after I loan them money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I argue a lot with my mam but I love her to bits really, can't wait until I can move out as I think we'll get along a lot better when we don't live under the same roof. I'd do owt for her like - which she knows as she has physical disabilities and I'm her main carer. I used to get on quite well with my dad when I was little and he was my hero, sadly as I grew up I realised he wasn't all that great a person, especially after my parents split up - but I keep in contact with him and see him maybe once a month so it could be a lot worse. Whilst he's not necessarily my favourite person (and I daresay I'm not his either) I'm fairly certain I could rely on him for help if I really needed to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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