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Jeff Stelling's Super Special Soccer Saturday Drinking Game


Guest Patrokles
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Guest Patrokles

Although I'm personally not a big drinker, this might be of interest to those who enjoy drinking games and football, and have sky sports.

 

The current rules are:

 

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer

- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)

- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be

imbibed during this period.

- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking

- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager

- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.

- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.

- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.

- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer

- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager

- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky

- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round

- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer

- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer

- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager

- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed

- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.

- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellamy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.

- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager

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Hows this for a drinking game?

 

Watch your team get gubbed at home to Cowdenbeath and continue drinking cans of stella until you pass out. :razz:

 

Easy to remember. :razz:

 

2-0's hardly a gubbing - it's not as if an ex-Elgin player scored against you or anything... :rolleyes:

 

Only 3-0 this week!

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

Calm down man I was only messing about. :talk:<_<:telephone::razz::secret:

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

Calm down man I was only messing about. :security:<_<:telephone::razz::shades:

 

My apologies, Jonny. I need a slap. I am just really really pissed off with this fucking pc :secret: Plus I've had one or two cuba libres and the pc is just laugghing at me - basteard. That's the pc - not you :talk:

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

Calm down man I was only messing about. :shades:<_<:telephone::razz::o

 

My apologies, Jonny. I need a slap. I am just really really pissed off with this fucking pc :security: Plus I've had one or two cuba libres and the pc is just laugghing at me - basteard. That's the pc - not you :talk:

*Wipes Brow* Phew I didn't want their to be no bad blood between us sir. :secret:

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

Calm down man I was only messing about. :o<_<:telephone::razz::o

 

My apologies, Jonny. I need a slap. I am just really really pissed off with this fucking pc :shades: Plus I've had one or two cuba libres and the pc is just laugghing at me - basteard. That's the pc - not you :talk:

*Wipes Brow* Phew I didn't want their to be no bad blood between us sir. :secret:

 

Never, 2Jags, never. if I ever upset anyone on here I would be the first to back down in an attempt to kiss and make up as I am too old to fall out with people :security: Don't call me sir either - I get enough of that at work and it is hard to hear at times due to my communist leanings.

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :razz:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

 

:razz:

 

"Outside! Now!! <_< "

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Serious question.

 

What constitutes a 'shot' of beer?

 

Do you mean a small glass of beer, or half pint, or pint ??? :secret:

Obviously in a shot glass you senile old fool. :rolleyes:

 

Okay then, fuckhead, how much beer in this fuckin 'shot' glass??? Do I fill it up?? Do I put the equivalent of a 'shot' {fuckin' Americanism anyway. btw, I've nowt against any American, just some fuckers over here tend to latch on to Americanisms far too easily for my liking eg 'already' and 'shot' - go on, some fucker tell me 'shot' comes from UK} in it??? Half full??? Quater full???? HOw much?? Come on, fuckin tell me???

 

:razz:

 

"Outside! Now!! :security: "

 

:razz:<_< I would rather do it inside :telephone::talk:

 

Anyway, Cath, you would easy beat me up as I'm just a big softie really.

 

But more to the point, did you have a nice b/day and was Mika good??

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:rolleyes::razz: I would rather do it inside :razz:<_<

 

Anyway, Cath, you would easy beat me up as I'm just a big softie really.

 

But more to the point, did you have a nice b/day and was Mika good??

 

Absolutely brilliant, thank you, on both counts. :telephone:

 

And I'd never beat you up, Mr Hips!

Edited by catmag
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:razz::razz: I would rather do it inside <_<:telephone:

 

Anyway, Cath, you would easy beat me up as I'm just a big softie really.

 

But more to the point, did you have a nice b/day and was Mika good??

 

Absolutely brilliant, thank you, on both counts. :security:

 

ANd I'd never beat you up, Mr Hips!

 

That's nice to hear. We'll just settle for a good wrestling match then :rolleyes::talk::secret:

 

Glad you had a super day.

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:razz::razz: I would rather do it inside <_<:telephone:

 

Anyway, Cath, you would easy beat me up as I'm just a big softie really.

 

But more to the point, did you have a nice b/day and was Mika good??

 

Absolutely brilliant, thank you, on both counts. :security:

 

ANd I'd never beat you up, Mr Hips!

 

That's nice to hear. We'll just settle for a good wrestling match then :rolleyes::talk::secret:

 

Glad you had a super day.

 

naked wrestling match ina mud pit ??

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