bobbyshinton 59 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 A young woman in North Shields was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Tyne. She went down to the fish quay and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day. Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit,and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later however, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Sheilds Ferry" go on Rents give it up for the fat lad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 A young woman in North Shields was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Tyne. She went down to the fish quay and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day. Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit,and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later however, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Sheilds Ferry" go on Rents give it up for the fat lad Timing is everything. Mrs hips txt me that joke yesterday! I did larf though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 A young woman in North Shields was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Tyne. She went down to the fish quay and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day. Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit,and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later however, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Sheilds Ferry" go on Rents give it up for the fat lad Timing is everything. Mrs hips txt me that joke yesterday! I did larf though Timing indeed....that must have come through in six linked messages over the course of a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47667 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 bobby, didn't you post the same joke about a month ago? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 bobby, didn't you post the same joke about a month ago? No, but 3 other people did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 A young woman in North Shields was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Tyne. She went down to the fish quay and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day. Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit,and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later however, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the Captain replied. "This is the Sheilds Ferry" go on Rents give it up for the fat lad Timing is everything. Mrs hips txt me that joke yesterday! I did larf though Timing indeed....that must have come through in six linked messages over the course of a week. Nar, just one txt! Nothing about Tyne bridge. 'woman stows away on a boat..'etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15907 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 "wmn on boat blk givs sndwch/shag omg shlds ferry lol" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 "wmn on boat blk givs sndwch/shag omg shlds ferry lol" Berb....watch and learn, son! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 "wmn on boat blk givs sndwch/shag omg shlds ferry lol" Class You can textifise all jokes over 4 lines long from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 "wmn on boat blk givs sndwch/shag omg shlds ferry lol" Trouble is, I can never tell if my wife's txts are just clever txt spk or her crap spelling!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 heard it before, still a good joke though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 "wmn on boat blk givs sndwch/shag omg shlds ferry lol" Trouble is, I can never tell if my wife's txts are just clever txt spk or her crap spelling!! I'm the same as well mate when she txts me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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