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Great Footballing Quotes

Tooj

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Tooj

Tooj 17

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I'll start off with a few from the legend that is Romário....

 

"I am not happy to play for Barcelona, but Barcelona should be happy that I play there."

 

"If Robinho will end up being half as good as I, he will be remembered too."

 

When I was born, God pointed at me and said "That's the man!"

 

When Pele's quiet, he's a poet, but he talks, he just talks shit. On the field, he was the greatest player in history, he was our king. But he should definitely put a shoe in his mouth

 

I like the resort where the Brazilian national team is practicing for the World Cup, the only problem is women are not allowed in so we can't have sex.

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Guest alex

Guest alex

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You could have a whole thread on Sir Bobby but this is one of my personal favs from an email doing the rounds ages ago:

"Football's like a big market place, and people go to the market every day to buy their vegetables."

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Jimbo

Jimbo 175

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The Genius that is Ian Holloway:

 

* "To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"

- on the "ugly" win against Chesterfield. This is perhaps Holloway's most famous quote.

 

* "It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now. It's in our hands."

- Holloway on QPR's financial situation.

 

* "It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake."

- Holloway states his opinion about the linesman's performance in a game against Bristol City.

 

* "I call us the Orange club - because our future's bright!"

- on QPR's potential.

 

* "He's been out for a year and Richard Langley is still six months away from being Richard Langley, and I could do with a fully fit Richard Langley."

- on midfielder Richard Langley's injury rehabilitation.

 

* "It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play."

- after being criticised for using defensive players in midfield.

 

* "I am a football manager. I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis."

- asked whether QPR would be able to beat Manchester City.

 

* "You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go."

 

* "I always say that scoring goals is like driving a car. When the striker is going for goal, he's pushing down that accelerator, so the rest of the team has to come down off that clutch. If the clutch and the accelerator are down at the same time, then you are going to have an accident."

 

* "I've got to knock that horrible smell out of my boys, because they smell of complacency."

 

* "I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."

 

* "Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!"

- Holloway after securing promotion to the Championship.

 

* "When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas."

- on QPR's new Danish striker Marc Nygaard.

 

* "Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings."

- on veteran striker Paul Furlong.

 

* "We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands."

- after a defeat against Notts County.

 

* "You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad."

 

* "There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth."

 

* "I don't see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they'd have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin."

- about the new rule restricting footballers from removing their shirts during a match.

 

* "Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon."

 

* "I believe in what I am doing totally and once people speak to me they do too - I could sell snow to the Eskimos."

 

* "We've got a good squad and we're going to cut our cloth accordingly, but I think the cloth that we've got could make some good soup, if that makes any sense".

- Despite popular belief, Holloway was in fact misquoted as saying "soup" but actually said "suit".

 

* "I want to try and spread the support with my Bristol connection. Rovers are in the bottom division so why can't I try and convert some of them into Argyle fans? We're in the West Country so it's not that far away. Only two and a half hours away in a slow car, an hour and a half in a fast one - or 10 minutes in a rocket! As long as you aimed it right, you'd be down here really quickly. Don't land it on the pitch, though, because you'd ruin it!"

 

* "It was a bit cheeky wasn't it? But I don't think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he'd turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. (...) If anybody's offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they're just jealous that he's got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything."

- on Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton mooning Everton fans

 

* "Hasney's bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now."

- on an injury sustained by central defender Hasney Aljofree

 

* ""Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We'd never hear the end of it!"

- on rumours about a possible knighthood for David Beckham.

 

* "If I was in there I wouldn't try to be everybody's friend. I'd have to say 'Excuse me, hang on a minute, I think you're wrong there. Don't raise your voice at her like that, don't get like that. It's just an Oxo cube, we got it wrong and we're all in this together'. It's like the Witches of Eastwick. They need Jack Nicholson to come in and sort them right out."

- on the bullying of Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother 2007.

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Happy Face

Happy Face 29

Posted
Posted

You could have a whole thread on Sir Bobby but this is one of my personal favs from an email doing the rounds ages ago:

"Football's like a big market place, and people go to the market every day to buy their vegetables."

 

My favourite was "I'd have given my left hand to have been a concert pianist."

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Gemmill

Gemmill 46995

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"At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you'll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don't you dare come back in here without giving your all"

 

Best half-time team talk ever.

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luckyluke

luckyluke 2

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"At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you'll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don't you dare come back in here without giving your all"

 

Best half-time team talk ever.

 

Presuming that's Cloughie as well?

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Gemmill

Gemmill 46995

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"At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you'll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don't you dare come back in here without giving your all"

 

Best half-time team talk ever.

 

Presuming that's Cloughie as well?

 

Nah, Ferguson.

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Ally

Ally 0

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My favourite Holloway quote is:

 

"Most of our fans that get behind us and are fantastic. Those who don't should shut the hell up or they can come round to my house and I will fight them"

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Guest Patrokles

Guest Patrokles

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I do like the SBR one.

 

When Carl Cort is asked what SBR called him he replied with

 

"Shola Ameobi"

 

:lol:

 

Other way around, I think.

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Guest alex

Guest alex

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I do like the SBR one.

 

When Carl Cort is asked what SBR called him he replied with

 

"Shola Ameobi"

 

:lol:

 

Other way around, I think.

Howard Wilkinson asked Shola what his nickname was at an U21 get together I think. Shola said he didn't have one. HW said "What does Bobby Robson call you?" To which he replied "Carl Cort".

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tinofbeans

tinofbeans 91

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Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?

Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

 

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?

Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

 

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

 

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

 

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

 

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

 

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

 

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

 

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

 

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

 

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?

Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

 

Strachan was on Sky on Sunday morning. He saw John Terry's goal and said he was impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasted this to Claus Lundekvam the Saints central defender who goes up for every dead ball and never ever looks remotely like scoring. He said if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which he said is more than Lundekvam can manage. He said referees should book Lundekvam for timewasting every time he goes up for a corner. When the co-commentator said if Lundekvam was watching Strachan was only joking. Strachan assured him he was deadly serious.

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luckyluke

luckyluke 2

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Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?

Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

 

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?

Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

 

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

 

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

 

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

 

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

 

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

 

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

 

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

 

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

 

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?

Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

 

Strachan was on Sky on Sunday morning. He saw John Terry's goal and said he was impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasted this to Claus Lundekvam the Saints central defender who goes up for every dead ball and never ever looks remotely like scoring. He said if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which he said is more than Lundekvam can manage. He said referees should book Lundekvam for timewasting every time he goes up for a corner. When the co-commentator said if Lundekvam was watching Strachan was only joking. Strachan assured him he was deadly serious.

 

:lol:

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