PaddockLad 17590 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 58 minutes ago, sammynb said: Um, the supplier probably deserves everything he gets BUT the fitter's missus has obviously been happy to spread her legs for the supplier, before, during and after(?) her wedlock to the fitter? Tell us he's not still being cuckolded? £1200, sounds like it's a nice door, stain glass like Renton's? She’s an equally morally bankrupt old strumpet but she can neither supply nor fit windows so is mostly irrelevant/surplus to requirements in this context. Rents has got stained glass? Is he a part time vicar or something? 🤔 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3489 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 14 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: Rents has got stained glass? Is he a part time vicar or something? 🤔 Only of dribbly! Actually talking about stain glass, well not quite but we've got a huge old patterned glass window on one side of our house that's over a hundred years old and an idiot neighbour that lives too close and doesn't give a fuck about anyone else, so we as part of our renovation included getting the builder to build a frame and install half inch glass on the outside of the original window to: 1. minimise the noise from cunty neighbour. 2. Protect said irreplaceable from cunty neighbour's child who is a brat (but it's not her fault her mother is a twat) and likes to play between our very close houses, with stock whips and basketballs. Finally after obviously casting the glass himself as it has taken months for him to order the fucking glass, it's ready but his chippy (who is a mate of mine) missus is 40 weeks pregnant. FFS timing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 3489 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 23 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: She’s an equally morally bankrupt old strumpet but she can neither supply nor fit windows so is mostly irrelevant/surplus to requirements in this context. She's obviously a pain, so you'd figure windows would be right up her alley - supply not fitting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42945 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 I’m cracking up at the window puns here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3953 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 We are spending £2k getting our lawn astro turfed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 Smashing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3953 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 1 hour ago, TheGingerQuiff said: Smashing If you ever move out of your parents house you might get to spend money on a house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 I don't get it. What's the window pun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 22116 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 My eyes are glazing over here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21943 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 8 hours ago, PaddockLad said: She’s an equally morally bankrupt old strumpet but she can neither supply nor fit windows so is mostly irrelevant/surplus to requirements in this context. Rents has got stained glass? Is he a part time vicar or something? 🤔 That was THREE HOUSES AGO! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1344 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 4 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said: We are spending £2k getting our lawn astro turfed. I honestly hate gardening with a passion but would I fuck pay that just to get out of it. It'll still need maintenance. Two grand for a plastic version of the garden you already have? Fuck that noise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 What happens to bird shit and that? Does it just fester in your lawn wig until you clean it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 22116 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 25 minutes ago, Renton said: That was THREE HOUSES AGO! You could buy three more. It will still define you on here. That and seagulls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Whitehurst 931 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 15 minutes ago, Blastronaut said: I honestly hate gardening with a passion but would I fuck pay that just to get out of it. It'll still need maintenance. Two grand for a plastic version of the garden you already have? Fuck that noise. We got it last summer. Pretty much zero maintenance plus it tends to have a foam underlay that makes it very comfortable and helps it drain away rain pretty much immediately. If you get the decent stuff then it looks good all year round and you don’t have to worry about cutting it/maintaining it/weeding etc. Ideal for a lazy bastard who can’t be fucked with gardening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31121 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 Get a robot lawnmower people, ffs. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3953 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 50 minutes ago, Blastronaut said: I honestly hate gardening with a passion but would I fuck pay that just to get out of it. It'll still need maintenance. Two grand for a plastic version of the garden you already have? Fuck that noise. We have a dog and her pee burns the grass and the turf hasn’t taken in 3 years. We know a few people who have done it and they swear by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31121 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 Doesn’t it look very fake though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1344 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 46 minutes ago, Billy Whitehurst said: We got it last summer. Pretty much zero maintenance plus it tends to have a foam underlay that makes it very comfortable and helps it drain away rain pretty much immediately. If you get the decent stuff then it looks good all year round and you don’t have to worry about cutting it/maintaining it/weeding etc. Ideal for a lazy bastard who can’t be fucked with gardening. Dunno like. I totally get the lazy bastard aspect just not the cost. If it's guaranteed for 20 years then fair enough. Otherwise fuck that, much as I fucking despise cutting the grass were only talking an hour or so a few times a year. @TheGingerQuiff's wig comment sums it up for me. Decent analogy. Jonjo Shelvey turning up with a wig would no doubt raise eyebrows but I'd understand it more than Souness trying to be taken seriously wearing a plastic moustache and insisting "it's just easier to maintain and my wife likes it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3953 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 33 minutes ago, ewerk said: Doesn’t it look very fake though? I’ll take a picture when it’s down, the stuff we ordered looks very real tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1344 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 What happens to the patches your dog damages? Sure as fuck doesn't grow back naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10947 Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 18 hours ago, ewerk said: Get a robot lawnmower people, ffs. Was checking some of these out, but I've a fucking load of questions that the reviews don't answer. Does yours have guide-wires and a massive docking station and all that? Only takes me about 20 minutes to mow the lawn every fortnight at the minute, would a robot one really make that much of a difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 It'd immediately become the Alpha male in the house so I'd say avoid 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10947 Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 Isn't mowing the lawn how you get your pocket money off your Mam and Dad? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 I've rattled him 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10947 Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 1 minute ago, TheGingerQuiff said: I've rattled him The only thing you've rattled is your fleshlight. Cock like a pug's tongue. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now