Smeeagain

[bobbyshinton 59]

Sorry Rents.

 

 

 

 

Renton is walking along Waaalsend High Streets and a knockout looking Waaalsend pross catches his eye.

 

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the Pross, "How much do you charge?"

 

Pross replies, "It starts at £500 for a hand-job."

 

Renton says, "£500! For a hand-job! Holy crap.

 

No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

 

The pross says, "Do you see that papershop on the corner?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Do you see the papershop about a 1/2 mile further down?"

 

"Yes."

 

"And beyond that, do you see that third papershop?"

 

 

"Yes."

 

"Well," says the pross, smiling invitingly, "I own Those.

 

And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth £500."

 

Renton says, "What the hell? You only live once.

 

I'll give it a try."

 

They retire to a nearby hotel. A short time later,

 

Renton is sitting on the bed realizing that He just Experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth

Every bit of £500.

 

He is so amazed, he says,

 

"I suppose a blow- job is £1,000?"

 

The Pross replies, "£1,500."

 

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"

 

The pross replies, "Step over here to the window, Big boy.

 

Do you see them 3 boozers just across the Street?

 

I own them boozers outright. And I own them because I give

 

A blow-job that's worth every penny of £1,500."

 

Renton, basking in the afterglow of that terrific

 

Hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another

 

Year or so, and says, "Sign me up."

 

Ten minutes later, He is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He

 

Can scarcely believe it but He feels he truly got his money's worth.

 

He decides to dip into the retirement Savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

 

He asks the pross, "How much for some fanny?"

 

The pross says, "Come over here to the window, I want To show you something.

 

Do you see how the whole of Waaalsend is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights,

 

bookies, and pound shops?"

 

"Damn!" Renton says, in awe, "You own the whole of Waaalsend?"

 

"No," the pross replies,

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"but I would if I had a fanny."

[Gemmill 44273]

So did he do him up the bum instead?

[manc-mag 1]

So did he do him up the bum instead?

 

Aye.....Renton's christmases come at once this.

[Gemmill 44273]

So did he do him up the bum instead?

 

Aye.....Renton's christmases come at once this.

 

I do like a happy ending.

[Tom 14011]