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TUESDAY 28TH DECEMBER

 

BBC1

 

CHICKEN RUN 3.10pm - Mel Gibson poultry comedy

 

BLADES OF GLORY 11.10pm - Will Ferrell homoerotic comedy

 

BBC2

 

THE FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE 1.05pm - Sophia Loren and Alec Guinness epic

 

 

MISS POTTER 6.30pm - Renee Zellweger does her squinty face looking at the sun so much you'll want to smash it in with a spade.

 

BBC3

 

THE SHOOTING PARTY 11pm - James Mason holds a dinner party prior to the outbreak of WW1.

 

ITV1

 

E.T: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL 2.40pm - Small underground hit you might not have heard of.

 

ROBOTS 4.50pm - Better than most other CGI animal animations.

 

I AM LEGEND 9pm - May contain traces of religious allegory.

 

THE BREAK-UP 11.05pm - Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. It makes me want to be sick.

 

A SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM 1am - Michael Caine

 

ITV2

 

THE POLAR EXPRESS 1pm - Again

 

THE GRINCH 6pm - again

 

THE FUGITIVE 12.15am - again

 

ITV3

 

CARRY ON CLEO 1.55pm - Kyaa Kyaa

 

OVERBOARD 9pm - Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. Walks a fine line between romantic comedy and rohypnol endorsement.

 

ITV4

 

THE RAWHIDE YEARS 1.45pm - Tony Curtis western

 

NORTH WEST MOUNTED POLICE 3.30pm - Gary Cooper western

 

LETHAL WEAPON 3 11pm - again

 

CHANNEL 4

 

EXPLORERS 12noon - kids go to space and meet some woeful aliens who like telly.

 

CROCODILE DUNDEE II 2.05pm

 

THE CAT RETURNS 3am - Studio Ghibli animation. The one they did after Spirited Away. They did Princess Mononoke and Grave of the Fireflies too. They're dead good.

 

MORE4

 

COCOON: THE RETURN 3.10pm

 

BLACK FRIDAY 12.10am - Dramatisation of the 1993 Bombay bombings

 

FILM4

 

MONTE CARLO OR BUST 12.40pm - again

 

TIME BANDITS 3.05pm - again

 

SCROOGED 5.20pm - again

 

THE SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING 7.10pm - again

 

JUNO 9pm - again

 

BABYLON AD 10.50pm - Vin Diesel actioner

 

CREEP 12.35am - London underground horror

 

STRAIGHTHEADS 2.15am - Danny Dyer ;)

 

CHANNEL FIVE

 

THE WINSLOW BOY 12.20pm - David Mamet film

 

RED CORNER 11pm - Richard Gere falls victim to corrupt chinese courts.

 

FIVE USA

 

MY GIRL 2 2pm - again

 

YOURS, MINE AND OURS 4.15pm - shit comedy

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Just a couple of films that aren't on every other day....

 

WEDNESDAY 29TH DECEMBER

 

BBC4

 

GOMORRAH 10pm - Italian film which deals with the Neapolitan crime syndicate, so if you like your gangster films, give it a go. Critically fawned over, it won loads of awards, it's not a film I personally thought was as good as everyone else seemed to though.

 

 

THURSDAY 30TH DECEMBER

 

CHANNEL 4

 

TALES FROM EARTHSEA 3.45am - Studio Ghibli animation from Japan. If you like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and all that lot.

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Watching Poppins and feeling gay/sentimental.

 

 

Nowt whatseover gay about Mary Poppins. The scale goes....

 

 

Man bag

.

.

.

Sucking a cock

.

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Keeping change in a pouch in your wallet

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

using deoderant

.

.

.

.

Using a valet tray

.

.

.

.

Enjoying mary poppins

 

 

;)

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SUNDAY 2ND JANUARY

 

CHANNEL 4

 

IRON MAN 5.40pm - Network premier of one of the better super-hero films.

 

 

MONDAY 3RD JANUARY

 

FILM4

 

HARD EIGHT 12.15am - Paul Thomas Anderson's (There Will Be Blood, Boogie Nights, ) first film. It only came out on DVD over here a couple of years back. Follows a down on his luck gambler (John C Reilly) as he gets his life back on track with the help of an elderly father figure. Unfortunately iit goes wrong again when he falls for a whore (Gwyneth Paltrow) and gets on the wrong side of Samuel L Jackson. Underrated classic.

 

TUESDAY 4TH JANUARY

 

CHANNEL 4

 

THE LONGEST DAY 12.30pm - Great war film.

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