Park Life

I simple case of mistaken identity I can assure you.

You get taxed to buggery in France, don't you Chez? NZ = top rate of 39% (but no personal allowance). I do, which partly explains the amount of frenchmen living in london. The biggest complaint of small to medium sized business in this country is the regulation of the labour market though, not tax. Yup, health payments (by the company) and the like for workers in France are a nightmare. Can't hardly fire the fuckers either.

Quite.

It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. On the button, salient advice from JJ as usual. I tend to dress up as a copper and take part in the investigation the next day just for that extra giggle/misdirection/destroying the crime scene for forensics.** **Only do this if you are a pro (like me) though.

Reminds me of an incident with Oscar Wilde. He was having a naked water fight with Lord Alfred at a rented house in Oxfordshire when the local parson called round to say hello. Startled parson: "What the hell is going on here?!" Oscar: "It's pure Greek, darling, pure Greek!" Reminds me....Perhaps Bridey Revisited needs another airing at Parky castle. Find it quite moving I does. Jeremy Irons? Or a Chez style "remake" with younger more energetic actors in an *ahem* artistic interpretation? The original with Lord Sebastian Flight of course.

Very good Stevie.

Reminds me of an incident with Oscar Wilde. He was having a naked water fight with Lord Alfred at a rented house in Oxfordshire when the local parson called round to say hello. Startled parson: "What the hell is going on here?!" Oscar: "It's pure Greek, darling, pure Greek!" Reminds me....Perhaps Bridey Revisited needs another airing at Parky castle. Find it quite moving I does.

Quote from that doc.. What you doing now George? BG: Teaching basketball at Harlem...Taking it straight to the hoop.

Would make an excellent Bond villain/chat show host.

Today. Wasn't sure if you were aware as it doesn't really affect you. I got the reference the first time thanks. Sometimes I feel it necessary to spell things out to some on here. That's because most things go over your head. Are you the most intelligent person you know Alex? No. I reckon you are, you come across as someone who rates them self quite highly. Give it a fucking rest Danny.

Get on the phone to Terry Waite's agent. Apparently his autobigraphy wasn't much of a read. Monday - chained to the radiator. Tuesday - still chained to the radiator. Wednesday - went to Disneyland. Nah, not really, chained to the radiator again. I must admit I do like this chat show concept.

Noted.

Staff at a stationary shop discovered a fake £20 note with a picture of the former Culture Club singer on its watermark instead of the monarch. Ryman's in Gravesend, Kent, took the forgery on Saturday afternoon, but it was not until they tried to cash the note on Monday that they realised it was a forgery. When they studied the note further, they saw a picture of Boy George, who had hits with Karma Chameleon and Do You Really Want To Hurt Me in the 1980s, printed where the Queen's head should be. A spokesman for the store said: "We took the note on Saturday afternoon, but we didn't realise it was a fake until I took it to the bank on Monday. "The cashier held it up to the light and then spotted that Boy George's face was on it instead of the Queen's." She added: "I was shocked, I couldn't believe it – we've certainly had nothing like it before." The singer – real name George O'Dowd – is currently serving a 15-month jail sentence for falsely imprisoning and beating a male escort. Stay in England and make another album my dear.

I think that's bollocks, I can do two hours and feel fine if using medium weights.

The same machine? Park arrested for trying to get a 'backie'! It's all in the jiggle innit.

I started going about a month ago. 3 times a week. I do ah hour and a half mainly cross training major muskles. Cycling machines when there are fit birds on them.

Weren't the Nazis a final refraction of the deep lying and widespread European need to conquer and culturally dominate the world? No that was Osman. No wonder the Turks are so keen on Deutschland.

You going to Watergate this Friday or next?

Craig or Maggiepaws are yer best bet mate or the skulking ant fellow.

Spot on. Another case of the myth rather than the man.

Fucking locals!

Weren't the Nazis a final refraction of the deep lying and widespread European need to conquer and culturally dominate the world?

I read somewhere Solskjaar is being groomed to take over in a couple of years after Fergie.