Park Life

...or if I'm ranting about summat they say I'm jealous (red mist quick time)...

There was an old cow in front of me at my local co-op a few weeks ago who went through SEVEN cards in turn doing a balance query which she printed off and filed in her purse - she didn't get any money out - not even a fucking tenner. Sorry to say I spied on her balances and they ranged between about 100 and 300 quid. Do you say anything? No, just muttered in an overly-polite English manner - though it may have involved some FFSs. I was getting my rail season ticket reprinted a couple of months ago and was behind a woman buying a ticket to some obscure place who then proceeded to pay with several shitty rail gift vouchers which she had to sign. She then started to chat to the teller about some womanly trivia like bairns or houses so I had to tell her to get on with it - she said she could write and talk at the same time so I told her I wasn't impressed and she should fuck off. I hate to admit I felt quite guilty about it. Don't. Otherwise you just carry that frustration around with you. I don't do it anymore and within reason I let people know if they are bother ing me/holding up the queue/acting like cunts etc... "I DON'T WANT AN EXTRA SQUIRT OF CREAM ON THE TOP OF MY FUCKING COFFEE"!!!!! I thought the main reason you liked Milan so much was because of the way people were so patient in the face of the rat race. But in Milan mode I'm quite the different person.

China is a good option, big place not much regulation (on banking matters). I would have, but then again I'm psychologically primed for this kind of thing. One day eh.....

There was an old cow in front of me at my local co-op a few weeks ago who went through SEVEN cards in turn doing a balance query which she printed off and filed in her purse - she didn't get any money out - not even a fucking tenner. Sorry to say I spied on her balances and they ranged between about 100 and 300 quid. Do you say anything? No, just muttered in an overly-polite English manner - though it may have involved some FFSs. I was getting my rail season ticket reprinted a couple of months ago and was behind a woman buying a ticket to some obscure place who then proceeded to pay with several shitty rail gift vouchers which she had to sign. She then started to chat to the teller about some womanly trivia like bairns or houses so I had to tell her to get on with it - she said she could write and talk at the same time so I told her I wasn't impressed and she should fuck off. I hate to admit I felt quite guilty about it. Don't. Otherwise you just carry that frustration around with you. I don't do it anymore and within reason I let people know if they are bother ing me/holding up the queue/acting like cunts etc... "I DON'T WANT AN EXTRA SQUIRT OF CREAM ON THE TOP OF MY FUCKING COFFEE"!!!!!

Much easier to wire money somewhere distant these days. And to trace it, I'd imagine, in the case of these people anyway. In a way money is easier to trace as the BIS tend to ask banks to ratify big international transfers, but it is also easier now to keep the money moving.

How have you managed that? I can't do it.

Much easier to wire money somewhere distant these days.

People who pay with their coin collection.

There was an old cow in front of me at my local co-op a few weeks ago who went through SEVEN cards in turn doing a balance query which she printed off and filed in her purse - she didn't get any money out - not even a fucking tenner. Sorry to say I spied on her balances and they ranged between about 100 and 300 quid. Do you say anything?

But it's fun winding up the biggest bloke and then slipping out before valhalla.

Some gooduns there Stevie. Women who act hard in general bother me (don't think I ain't gonna slap you one bitch). People who carry their keys (probably one or two on here) on a chain or some-kind of velcro laden neck pass holder converted to key holder dangling out of back pocket. I simply want to bring an axe squarely down through the top of your head.

A middle-class German kitchen without honey? I despair. I've banned it.

People who come round here and insist on honey in their tea instead of sugar. FUCK OFF AND DIE CUNT!!!

I also hate it when people nod approval continuously as you talk to them as if they are listening intently - but it just appears as though they have Parkinsons.

Good one. Very inventive. I don't like blokes who walk on their heels so that their arses rock from side to side. This is how I imagine Danny B walks.

The most evil variety is the type that still stands there while putting money in wallet.

Oh they know about it alright. Mrs P has left me alone in many a cafe as I lurch into loud grunts and sighs while glaring at spoon licker. Whereas they probably just think you're a window licker. They probably make that assumption the minute they feast their eyes on him. They haven't got eyes, just two shallow pools of shit where their eyes should be.

Oh they know about it alright. Mrs P has left me alone in many a cafe as I lurch into loud grunts and sighs while glaring at spoon licker. Whereas they probably just think you're a window licker. I'd rather lick windows than a coffee spoon thanks.

Oh they know about it alright. Mrs P has left me alone in many a cafe as I lurch into loud grunts and sighs while glaring at spoon licker.

Me? I hate it when I'm in a cafe and people lick the spoon they've just stirred their coffee with...Women do it the most - daft bints (IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK SEXY!!!!).

That's more like it.

I am watched over by big black crows so don't fuck.

The pair had applied to Westpac Bank for an overdraft of NZ$10,000 but received 1,000 times as much – $10 million – in the blunder. Hui Gao, known as "Leo", an Asian businessman, and his girlfriend, a New Zealander, disappeared earlier this month, two days after the windfall. Mr Gao jointly owned a BP petrol station with another Asian businessman in the North Island tourist resort of Rotorua. The whereabouts of Mr GAO's business partner are also not known. The service station has stopped trading and been put into receivership after being abandoned in a hurry, with stock left on the shelves and fuel still in the tanks. Sources say police believe Mr Gao has gone to China or South Korea and that $4 million of the money has been recovered by the bank, leaving $6 million still missing. I don't think it's possible to escape these days. China is a good move. Good luck to them.

Racism begins at home. Failing that, in a small shed in a field outside Doncaster. Or in a small field outside Kintampo, if you've every had a witch-doctor sacrifice a chicken and proclaim a death-sentence on you. I tend to do enough witch-doctoring to keep KFC busy.

Happy Birthday Trophyrant.