peasepud

Agreed, but I wont hold it against him if he does fail.

This thread should now die but I wanted to stick my two penneth in before it does. The decision was a unanimous one, the last post in question was raised and all the admin team agreed that the banning had to be done. My thread on this back in September made it clear that we wouldnt stand for racism, Ok so one mans racism is another mans comedy but frankly anything that is seen as racist should be kicked into touch when it happens, tbf the mistake we made in this case was debating it, one of us should have banned you there and then. If we had done then it would have been clearer as to the reason. We only have a very very limited set of rules on here and thats the way it should stay. We dont ban people for WUMmery, if we did Danny would be sat down the old dog n duck with a pint of fizzy on a night time instead of here. We dont ban them because frankly it is a free world, do what the fuck you want but take the consequences when everyone else turns on you. This is ably proven by Danny time after time, he makes some wank post and is made to look a cock by many on here. There is however no requirement to keep this site whiter than white, I personally couldnt give a fuck if the powers that be or Anal or anyone else reads it, I couldnt care a monkeys piss stain if they quote things off here and say that Toontastic doesnt have a clue or that sort of thing. What I dont think should happen is that Newcastle fans as a whole get sterotyped by the media on something totally unrelated when they hunt for a quote. Let them put down what somebody has said because they dont agree with the view or the factual content but not trot out some age old cliche of flat caps, whippets and haters of everything non-Geordie. More importantly though, this place should be somewhere people can come and not be subjected to racism, whether thats directed at them or just something they read. The post back in September was made as a direct result of certain things being said and a worry that it could be used by the media against toon fans as a whole. That still stands but behind it is a more important reason, its common decency. There is no need to launch into attacks on someone using their colour or sex or religion or sexual preferences. Its just not required and frankly doesnt make for a well informed read. There is no doubting that you can post some good informed stuff Stevie, I dont think thats ever been in doubt but you have a tendency to launch all out when somebody doesnt agree. Even if their answer is complete bollocks, just wind your neck in for a minute take some deep breaths and reply carefully, thats all it takes. Make the same reply but remove the abusive bit off the end and we're sorted. I also think that there are some on here who will look to antagonise you and frankly do take the piss where thats concerned but again, its nobodies fault but your own, they know that they can get you to bite and are doing it for that reason. In this instance it worked and they got exactly what they were hoping for. Dont let them win is the simple answer. There are two ways that can be achieved both involve moderating your posts before they go into the public view, either we do it as we have done yesterday, which is a pain for all concerned because whatever point you're making doesnt appear until sometimes hours after it was relevant and we have to put ourselves out to check them (which I would much rather not be doing (especially as 90% of what you post bores me rigid ) ). The second option though is you doing it yourself, make your post but before you hit that Submit button just read it through again slowly and remove the bits that you know will cause offence. Job done, everyones a winner, well nearly everyone, those that look to get you banned will have failed. *Oh and saying Anal quoted something you said is neither big nor clever, it just makes me doubt whatever it was you posted

Here we removed the original post earlier for a reason, you want to advertise then either pay us or alternatively offer a discount for our members.

and your hand on your cock.

Fuck! just read this and its 5pm!

Besty gets someone sectioned for making a phone call

It wouldnt surprise me, the pervert!

Seriously though, what is it like to look a mile up the road and see Arsenal?, I bet you can actually smell the sweet taste of success from there cant you?

Mums been

* During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. * All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. * Most dogs are immortal. * If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. * All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. * All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. * It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. * Dinosaurs only eat ugly or immoral people. * Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. * The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. * If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now. * You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. * Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. * If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. * The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. * All single women have a cat. * A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. * If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. * The Chief of Police is always black. * When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. * If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by six inches. * Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. * Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not. * Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. * If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. * Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. * Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. * Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. * Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets. * If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut. * The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. * A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium. * If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon - then look in your bathroom mirror and he will suddenly appear behind you. * Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. * Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. * Restaurant bills will always be 15% less than the amount you are holding in your hand. * Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. * It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. * A person being pursued will always stop and throw something at the person chasing them - even though it takes three times longer to stop and throw the obstacles than it does for the person chasing to jump over them. * Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. * Newborn babies can babble, crawl and hold their heads steady. * A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness. * All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. * It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. * When looking through binoculars, you will always see everything through a figure eight shape. * At least one in each pair identical twins is born evil. * In the event of a car chase, there will be two men carrying a large pane of glass through the streets. Later, you will drive through it. * Make-up can safely be worn to bed without fear of smudging. * A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. * When in love, it is customary to burst into song. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. * When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons. * One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man. * Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely. * If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water. * If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by manically beating the cradle and yelling "Hello? Hello?" * A gang of highly-trained terrorists will always separate and search for an intruder on their own - so they can be killed one by one. * Should you need to diffuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. * Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. * Megalomaniacs intent on world domination won't be able to resist telling their arch nemesis every detail of their evil plans. * Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become either prostitutes or welders. * A full moon can occur for several nights in a row. * Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames. * If the person you are chasing has just taken the elevator down from the 20th floor, you will be able to get to the street quicker than he can by running down the stairs. * The person you trust most at work is probably the one who is trying to kill you. * During a murder investigation lasting several weeks it will not be necessary for detectives to go home at any time to eat, sleep, shave or change their clothes. * Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident. * It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. * In the 19th century, long before sunbathing became fashionable, men and women already had tan lines and white bottoms. * During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. * When you turn off the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly blurred. * All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software. * The only courses taught in American High Schools are American History and English. * Dogs always know who's bad and will bark at them. * When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. * A slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause amnesia. * The most beautiful girl in school will never be able to get a date. * If you think there is an intruder in your house, your cat will choose the precise moment to leap out at you from inside a cupboard. * No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. * Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. * When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. * Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions. * No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, it's internal gravity system is never damaged. * If there is a deranged killer on the loose this will also coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. * You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. * Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. * In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell. * You can tell if somebody is British because they will be wearing a bow tie. * When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey. * An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. * Radiation causes interesting mutations - not to your future children but to you, there and then. * High class strippers with a heart of gold can operate most heavy machinery. * Rather than wasting bullets, Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. * Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. * If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22. * The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love. * Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. * Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. * Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one. * In the 23rd century, all humans will be beautiful. Humanity will make up for this by wearing awful clothes.

And dont even get me started on our gor blimey trouser count

Thanks for the serious answer. shame others on here don't have your attitude. Ok then, why do you think Spurs are the least successful London Premiership club? Also, while we're on how come only 38% of London clubs are Premiership while 60% of North East ones are? Admittedly, we fail miserably on the pearly king n queen statistics with only 0.0000034% of our attendance being genuine pearly kings compared to your fabulous showing of 1 pearly king to every 4 fans.

FYP You're right, 8th favourite cockney team. (big 4,, Charlton, AFC Wimbledon, Dagenham & Redbridge).

He died following a fall, not a very lucky ladder then..............

In the top 4 you have Chelsea and Arsenal, in the top 8 you have Chelsea, Arsenal, West 'Am and Fulham. Bringing up the rear you have Spurs. Still you'll always be everyones 7th favourite Cockney team (the big 4 + Charlton + Dagenham & Redbridge).

To be fair i think he could be quite hard to replace, it wouldn't be that easy to find somebody else that inept, lazy and incapable of ever striking a ball cleanly even once in their entire career!

At the end of the day/season this isnt going to magically get better. I would love to wake up from this nightmare and see us sitting in mid-table mediocrity with a chairman who would at least look like he wanted to sort it out. Aint gonna happen though and the further down the line we go the worse it will get. I may be the most cynical bastard going but it doesnt show any signs of getting better and every day Cashley loses money elsewhere is another nail in our coffin.

You know what though? its come to the point with Shola that Id happily see him sold and Llambias come out and say "weve sold Shola and spent the cash on drugs and hookers for me and Mike". Id still give out a little bit of sex wee.

He wont go though, hes like a bad case of the clap, no matter how many times you scrub your nob its still there in the morning. Im starting to believe that only a stake through the heart will end the nightmare. That alone should be enough to tell Gibson its time to get rid.

Aye brilliant. What has happened to you? I used to look upto you, a kind of shagtastic wayward cousin who would regale the kids with tales of far flung exotic lands and debauchery while Sunday dinner was being made. Nowadays you're more likely to be the one doing the dishes.

I think hes safe there like.

I too lost a lot of money when I was a kid playing the bandits, never touch them these days, horses I find boring, cant see the interest in them to be honest. nowadays, I like to have the odd trip to the casino, although these days it is a very odd trip as the credit crunch is definitely hitting hard. When I do go to the casino then its roulette for me and I make an evening of it, have a meal, few drinks and then maximum of £50 on the table. Cards are left are at home so I cant go daft.

hmmm I may have to sort out that Setanta thingy.

"Been on long?" "Whats that 30quid? 'ere ya go guvnah, 'ave a little summink for the missus n kiddiewinks too mate, now you 'ave a good day my son". 'Ere the bleeding robbin bastards only gone and took me bread n honey.....