peasepud

“@maxwell787: I don't think I will get the grass cut today”I'd pencil in April

If you're ever in need of a face that needs punching, tune into Millshake on Ch5 and see Derek.

“@JohnnyBrookes14: Why is Nile Ranger eating out of a dog bowl?”Karma?

“@GingerFTM: Good summary of the match on Sunday http://t.co/SAQs7Nh0”Pretty spot on tbh, Martys party over?

“@LadyEashington: Why is I love SAFC following me?”And me

“@robertflorence: Folks, stay out of Buchanan Street today - it's being haunted by a wraith.”@stevewraith what you upto now?

Thus whole "he/she tweeted something racist" call the cops thing is getting stupid.

“@Tony_Jeffries: Thank you BA you twat!”You needed a helping hand. Couldn't score all day long on your own#SMB #ftm

My old man said be a Sunderland fan...I said "f**k off Fatha you're a c*nt"#Nufc

More4 have just used the words "bucket Fanny" in an advert.#respect

“@NorthernJam: We love watching Miranda”I read that as Mirandinha, to be fair would be funnier

“@Sammy_Ameobi: Lol at the drinks menu http://t.co/dRVBlRbW”I'll have the 3rd one on Sunday

Shiiiiiiit! @NilePowerRanger wake up or you'll get sac....on second thoughts treat yourself to another hour mate

Eastern Airways, home of the worlds slowest check in....howay man woman man pet

turns out @ajhmurray has never seen a makem in Milan either #Nufc #SMB #FTM #safc

“@LostSoulsForEva: @pjwhitfield @saaceybill I was there man I'm more than aware of what happened.”You were 10

Sunday scran http://t.co/If7CguOH

Me n little fella literally pissing ourselves at Road Runner on #ch5 http://t.co/qkq16Rj3

“@pea2511: How many #NUFC fans think protesting is actually pathetic”That's a sweeping statement, depends on protest reason

Dear @our_family_pubs,Thanks for finally proving after 3 years that there is a chain serving shitter food than Frankie & Bennys#dismal

“@GingerFTM: @pjwhitfield the goodwill ends next Sunday mind ;0)”I expect nothing but cheesychip on shoulder abuse my friend

Emmmm here it is "@independent http://t.co/Hgy7iyDK" http://t.co/H8y5xmKy

90% reduction in transatlantic travel results in a real time increase of 8% heating bills it's LA superstar @Iwantcurlyhair2 #ff

“@michaelveide: Be careful who you invite for volunteer work at hospital! http://t.co/eIrctF5m”There must be a caption comp there

update from @2NarMe on his cancer. Read it then feel your own balls (I have & I'm on a train!)http://t.co/uaDru4sr