Sicklee Sausage Roll

He's kept a small club in the top eight for five seasons in a row, spending next to nowt to achieve this. What does the guy have to do to convince the naysayers?

No fat chicks.

Viana got that treatment after playing for us for little over a year. At least he took the hint and found another club. Those two have hung on for five years, and taken at least £15 million in wages without delivering much in return. Do you think they've spent so long here out of a determination to succeed, or the fact that nobody is daft enough to pay them what we're paying?

A good idea would be to hold a pre-season friendly at SJP and season ticket holders would get their usual seat. That way they could test the cards before August. Doubt they'll be that organised, though.

Sorry about the ceiling; who'dve thought arteries would spray so much? Well, that St John's Wort wasn't much cop, was it? You know how you said it might never happen? Well it did.

Anyone read Animal Farm?

In a delicious twist of irony, Boro raped by kids.

Photoshopped

Colour the rest in.

Nice, does it come in decent left-back?

Take a bow son, take a bow.

You could probably get away with no more than £600 a year on your tax and insurance, depending on what car you go for. 11p a mile sounds about right, but you might do more miles than you expect.

How tactful of him to mention that he's sat on his arse at home while we're stuck at work. Can't see how you can get excited over someone potentially winning what you 'earn' in a fortnight.

Ian Holloway sounds like a funny Justin Lee Collins.

Thom Yorke Neil Finn Richard Ashcroft

Well, Shevchenko runs like he's got chains on his ankles.

Give to the Labour Party as an interest-free loan, in exchange for: A knighthood for our new Youth Development manager, Sir Dario Gradi. Allowing standing on the terraces, Allowing the drinking of alcoholic beverages in the seated areas, Awarding us the right to open a Supercasino, and changing the listed status of the buildings behind the East Stand into a demolition order.

Whereas Harry Hill would simply wipe it off his bald head.

The hovercraft is full of eels?

Glans Roeder Girth Crooks Throbbbing Van-Persie

Gary Lineker (Wingnut)