Sicklee Sausage Roll

The local car dealer parks his cars in my parents' street. Cheeky fucker parked one outside their flat with an out of date tax disc. Contacted the police and they did fuck all about it.

The only risk I've found by doing it is that HGV drivers can see you knocking one out. 10153[/snapback] Knowing they're watching is what makes it worthwhile...

How many posts, on average, does it take for a seemingly harmless thread to descend into the usual talk about masturbation?

Yay! The little forum that could...

Not really inconsiderate parking, but car related. Didn't wind the sunroof all the way as I felt resitance, and assumed it was fully closed. Cue downpour. Cue Mr and Mrs Roll going for a takeaway five minutes ago. Mrs Roll sits on soaking car seat. As I pull away, water which has reservoired into little crevices of the car seeps out and soaks the pair of us.

Petitions are pretty lame, as risible as those text messages they have in the Chronic-al. For all we know, the people signing/sending them might never have been to a game in their life. As a way of getting the club's attention they haven't got any credibility whatsoever. A bandwagon of half-baked ideas, jumped on by geeks on the internet. Who are these people to Shepherd and Hall? As long as the season tickets are being sold, and the shirts are being shifted, they can confidently think that these people don't matter at all. For all they know, these disgruntled fans aren't the same people who fill the ground and buy the merchandise. To get their attention, the fans have to prove their financial value to the club. A list of nobodies from cyberspace means nothing, but a list of names and season ticket numbers, would signify potential lost revenue for the powers that be. If we collected only a thousand fans' names who would threatened to abstain from SJP, it could potentially be half a million quid down the suwannee for our porcine friend Frederick. That would surely prick his ears up. In the past, Fat Fred could rest on his laurels and speak smugly about his waiting list. What does it matter if a few unhappy punters toss in their tickets at the end of May; they'll be another mug who'll gratefully take their place. Well, to those who dawdled on their renewals, and received a letter giving them another chance to claim their seat; and to many of us who have seen the club suffer the indignity of broadcasting a TV ad begging people to come to SJP, will have finally seen the wizard behind the curtain. Season tickets are not like gold dust, and waiting lists are written on post-it notes rather than kept on databases so large that NASA is employed to keep record of them. Now we know, if you don't renew, Mr Shepherd will be sweating. Well, sweating a bit more than he does most of the time. So what would be the point of this list of names, what demands would be made? Well that would be up to the people who put their season tickets where their mouth is. My personal gripe would be the fact that we should have been looking to replace Shearer about two years ago. We're now a matter of days away from a new season with a talisman who has seen better days and two 'products' of our youth development that wouldn't get into the reserve teams of any of the top five. We've got Elliott, a gamble of a loan signing and some freebie nobody making up a big chunk of our defence. Boumsong is all on his own, and promising youngsters such as Taylor and Ramage will be unfairly thrown into the deep end before they have time to properly develop. We're left with a threadbare squad that's an injury crisis away from relegation, because we can't add to the squad without stripping as many assets as we can beforehand. Shearer is hanging his boots up, Jenas wants away and Given will end up going by the way things are going. All we will be left with is Dyer on the treatment table earning 4 million a year. £500 of your money pissed up the wall because the men who pull the strings have a vested interest in keeping the profits high, so their dividends pay out more. Do something by January, Shepherd, or the money gets it.

I've got no issue with not signing Balde, I think he's shite too. Just mystified why we were interested when a few million was involved, but now he's going on the cheap...

Makosi has just talked to Anthony like a piece of shit, patronising and insulting him, and Craig has just sat there laughing at him. Only a 'mate' when he wants to be all touchy-feely.

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite 9059[/snapback] Know your plaice, woman... 9060[/snapback] Cod, you do go on..... 9066[/snapback] Skate around the subject, why don't you? 9068[/snapback] I wasn't skate-ing around anything! There's obviously something wrong with your herring.... 9069[/snapback] Maybe I should be ex-'salmon'ed by a doctor then...

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite 9059[/snapback] Know your plaice, woman... 9060[/snapback] Cod, you do go on..... 9066[/snapback] Skate around the subject, why don't you?

Ackrington Stanleeeee! 9062[/snapback] Who are they?

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite 9059[/snapback] Know your plaice, woman...

Ian Rush?

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then...

Aye. Most women love being treated like shit. You're absolutely right. 9046[/snapback] i know there was sarcasm there, but i couldn't care less, fact of the matter is the choices women make prove it. 9048[/snapback] Yup, women get the men they deserve, and vice-versa.

I think it's safe to say that No-one is surprised at that. 8812[/snapback] Ooops, I forgot. Isn't the prime purpose of women being put on this earth just for you to treat them like shit and then for them to be grateful that you showed them any attention in the first place? 9011[/snapback]

I never seen a player go down on a ref. What's the punishment for dissent?

A 17-18 year-old would probably not be prosecuted for having sex with a 15 year-old.

I've got a feeling we're willing to shell out his 125k a week wages, which no-one else will touch. We might just get him by default.

Not that I want us to sign him, but how come we're only interested in players when big fees are involved?

Any proof that it's not? 8726[/snapback] The fact Real Madrid have confirmed this morning we're the only club to show any concrete interest in him? 8739[/snapback] Not sure what that proves, unless of course we honestly believe that we could attract a player who left one team purely because he wanted to win things. 8751[/snapback] He'll use us as a UK base while he prepares for the World Cup. If he rebuilds his reputation, one of the big clubs will just snatch him off us.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/4130466.stm

Check the Highway Code, pedestrians have the right of way. Therefore she was in the right and you were in the wrong. Morning by the way 8664[/snapback] The pedestrian only has right of way when they have already started to cross. The fact that she hit the side of his car, and didn't end up on the bonnet/under the wheels suggests she wasn't on the road before he made the turn... ...and the daft cow shouldn't be crossing on corners either.

Impressive stuff.