Kevin Carr's Gloves

Commuting to Glasgow turtles head on the train jumped in the bog. Had the biggest turd ever, this thing was not solid at all and still broke the water. I wiped (sitting down I’m middle class now) and flushed and turned to wash my hands. After washing I noticed the water level has risen to 2.5 cm (for the kids) to below the seat level. I tried to hit the flush button to stop it but nothing happened and arse stew started to overflow on the floor. I immediately jumped up and sat on the sink so my shoes didn’t get covered. I opened the door leaped out and closed it behind me but we were at glasgow by this time and loads of people were queuing to get out as the result of my shit was flowing out of the not water tight door. I walked away as quick as possible as people started to scream and as I was exiting and walking along the platform an emergency call was put out for cleaners and servicing staff.

I once broke a train with a Richard.

So can I make a joke about fucking Trump in the eye with a shitty strap on until he’s a quadriplegic?

Do you reckon he had a fiver on him scoring on his debut?

Damn fucking right we do, we're like the sas, you have to have the right mind set to survive the selection process.

Fuck off I’m trading my bmw in for an audi

You know you can’t make that kind of mistake on here.

Well the illegal settlers for a start off.

But this happened because Israel keeps invading Palestine.

To be fair I wouldn’t trust the Italian police to provide evidence the sun exists

Andy Robertson has been led off with his arm in a sling. Shit for my Scottish side but my scouse hating side is pissing myself laughing

If it’s criminal the club can sue to get the transfer money off him.

Dozy cunt

It would rely on me actually being funny which isn’t always the case though.

I was in a prick like manner trying to link you to “mackem like behaviour” spuriously just for a laugh.

She hasn’t had a bad time at all, she’s an awful person who has always been a Tory. She’s an anti abortionist too.

It’s ok I’m just being a prick

Isn’t that a bit like imagining something then getting annoyed by it?

Looks like a post on RTG

My boy has got on a school trip for the AC game, however it's costing me 260 quid including hotel.

The back of his neck

Trump is also an oap with dementia symptoms