Kevin Carr's Gloves

It was the parents fault the abductor was given the opportunity.

I have been thinking about replacdements and I am not sure that I want a big name. I would be quite happy to see a young up and coming manager who has learnt how to do the job and had a broad spectrum of ideas when it comes to tactics. I would like Mort to interview people and ask "What tactics do you use" and then giive the job to the person who replies "Whichever ones fit the team and situation best". The same as "do you have a favoured formation" "No I see what the team looks like first". I think managers who believe themselves to have been successful and full of themselves (Spitting the dummy because they didnt get the England job) to be too rigid and egotistical to learn new things. Just my opinion like.

I saw him getting beaten up by 2 blokes once Did you help No they seemed to be doing fiine on their own.

Has released a perfume. Dont buy it i got a tester and it smells like a talentless wanker living off the rotting corpse of a dead alcoholic.

havent you just copied and pasted the review of your last stand up? Obviously not. I didnt call it foul mouthed adolescent level genital based humour.

Watching it now it's absolutely brilliant. Actually that is a lie I would rather have teeth pulled. I would like to meet whoever is reponsible for this quite a lot.

Santa Claus you c*nt Kevin Williams

Late one from me sorry (is that the right smiley?)

Do you think he counts youth players? As Tozer seems to be out on loan as soon as he gets to have a look around. I think by quality players he means players a little bit older and maybe with premier league experience. he's never going to throw youngsters in at the deep end when the african nations starts, so expect 2 or 3 experienced players. ala campo. Will thedy get a game a la Enrique?

If he wants fans arrested for abuse fair enough. As long as they start walking on the pitch and arrest players for assault when they take someone out of the game. Or retaliate to a fair challenge. Or get arrested for fraud for diving. The way he talks you would think footballers never did anything to wind fans up.

Well done for the best "I am a cock" post ever! In the words of Buddy from Elf "You finally did it".

"You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done." Fuck some days I wish you'd just fold'em! Forget all this attractive football shite, we haven't played attractive football consistantly since SBR took the team to third. How are people going to react when at home against Derby Allardyce sets his team to stiffle the opposition? If it works and we win, I'll be over the moon. If Allardyce finishes us higher year on year for (say) 3 years running, getting us back into Europe long term but with some dull football, i'll be more than happy. You seriously want us to appoint a fifth manager in the space of three years, just to avoid the odd bit of boredom, even if there's some fun (like Arsenal) mixed in there. We're already a laughing stock man. Even the mackems accept their lot in life with more dignity than this. Were you a Shepherd fan? Serious question because he was also keen on getting rid of any manager that looked like they might not finish top 5, and that's why most fans can't stand the fat fuck. For sacking people at the wrong time and making the Newcastle job about as appealing as England, though it was very appealing when he took charge. I personally hate him for being a fat arrogant prick who could not see when he made a mistake and had the footballing management judgement of a dead rat. Oh and for using NUFC as his own personal cash cow and shitting on the fans. QFT and I also feel fat Freddy employed Allardyce for all the wrong reasons. He like Shepherd isn't (wasn't) adverse to a few dodgy transfers, Allardyce is know to get the best out of cheap and bargain players, etc. Then everything changed. Most of those traits don't really impact the clubs success, the only one that does is management selection and as I recall it 99% of people on here were in favour of Allardyce. I ask the question because I thought Shepherd's high turnover of managers was a bugbear among fans. Perhaps it was just me. But to lambaste Shepherd because he never learned from his mistakes, and then to advocate ANOTHER sacking without a better replacement lined up smacks to me of contradiction. Also, if you don't have time to explain why I'm wrong, best not to condescend to me, when you're the one in the minority on this one mate. Bollocks if you're going to make up a number make it realistic.

So has anyone seen it?

Like 'Doctors and Nurses' you mean? It's a bunch of teens dressed as Gandalf hurling bits of scrunched-up paper at each other screaming "Lightning bolt! Lightening bolt!!" Christ on a trike, I'm sad that I know this! Not as sad as them lot, but still sad. In the 90's me and my mates you to go to jesmond dene and try and scare the crap out of the acid takers. You saw the role players then.

"You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done." Fuck some days I wish you'd just fold'em! Forget all this attractive football shite, we haven't played attractive football consistantly since SBR took the team to third. How are people going to react when at home against Derby Allardyce sets his team to stiffle the opposition? If it works and we win, I'll be over the moon. If Allardyce finishes us higher year on year for (say) 3 years running, getting us back into Europe long term but with some dull football, i'll be more than happy. You seriously want us to appoint a fifth manager in the space of three years, just to avoid the odd bit of boredom, even if there's some fun (like Arsenal) mixed in there. We're already a laughing stock man. Even the mackems accept their lot in life with more dignity than this. Were you a Shepherd fan? Serious question because he was also keen on getting rid of any manager that looked like they might not finish top 5, and that's why most fans can't stand the fat fuck. For sacking people at the wrong time and making the Newcastle job about as appealing as England, though it was very appealing when he took charge. I personally hate him for being a fat arrogant prick who could not see when he made a mistake and had the footballing management judgement of a dead rat. Oh and for using NUFC as his own personal cash cow and shitting on the fans.

Same place that we are now. People expecting instant success would have caused him to be sacked at the first sniff of trouble. Just remind me because I'm getting a bit confused, when was the last time we unreasonably sacked a manager at the first sniff of trouble due to the expectance of instant success ? I'll re-phrase. First sniff of trouble = instant pressure and over-the-top criticism. Instant pressure and over-the-top criticism = low confidence in manager from team and poor morale. Manager given time, but morale doesn't improve because by this time the "MANAGER OUT NOW" posse grows. Manager eventually sacked, stemming from stupid (majority) fans mounting unnecessary pressure at first available opportunity, and never having the "he can turn things around" attitude. No manager will succeed here. Relegation would actually benefit us to bring the unrealistic wanker supporters back down to earth. This would help as without silly expectations, a manager might actually have time to do something here. What absolute bollocks.

Is this where he would get Johnny Weismuller to go swimming.

I Want a dupla prague away kit for Xmas. It's all I want.

That first bit in bold, anyone know what dickhead said? That bit is outstanding English.

Thats what I can't stand about these awards. They will give awards to any pedo murderer wife beating cunt because they wrote a decent tune. They should all be stopped from winning anything IMHO.

Thats what we thought about Parker.

Looks like the stainless steel rat.

His books aren't for kids though. He is a satirist.

Is that the "He killed 16 czechoslovakians he is an interior decorator" scene?

It's a crying shame. If I were a muslim and saw this and the Sudanese thing I would be going mental. Do these people not think that Muslims in Europe find it hard enough to integrate without these cocks stirring up hatred.