Kevin Carr's Gloves

If we sign Darren Bent I will post a picture of my cock.

In other news we seem to be 56% certain to buy Anthony Pilkington. http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/pitchside-europe/transfer-probabilities-cavani-suarez-both-set-move-162117161.html

This is a good little blog and I think the 10 points he puts forward are good reasons why we wont buy Bent. http://www.nufcfans.co.uk/2012/08/fan-blog-applying-soccernomics-to-newcastle-united-transfer-policy-explained/ A new manager wastes money. Stars of recent World Cups and European Championships are often overvalued. Certain nationalities are overvalued. Older players are overvalued. Buy players with personal problems at a discount then help them deal with their problems. Employ relocation advisers to help new players settle in to the area. Use wisdom of the crowds. The best time to buy a player is when he is in his early twenties. Sell any player if a club offers more than he is worth. Replace your best players before you even sell them. Of course we have never done number 10 so I could be wrong.

I bet we don't buy him he fits none of our recruitment categories.

This is hilarious in you thick muppet way. http://tyneandwear.sky.com/news/article/69813/tulisa-on-danny-simpson-hes-shallow-and-an-ahole

Feel sorry for the guy who leaked it when the Guardian gives the Americans his full name and details.

So oil, gas, whisky, banking, IT, wind and tidal power, agriculture, forestry, fishing, tourism, textiles are nothing?

What do you base this on?

Top 3 of Chelsea Man City and Arsenal. Bottom 3 Palace Stoke Everton. Managers sacked during season. Di Canio Pardew Moyes and Martinez (not an exhaustive list)

Check out this video on YouTube:

Which ones you mates with.

Yep Funny comedians you should see but probably haven't heard of. Scott Agnew, John Fothergill, John Scott, Silky, Andrew White, Vladimir McTavish, Alan Anderson, Steve Drayton, John Gavin, Seymour Mace, Steffen Peddie I would add Gav Webster but I think you may have heard of him.

I've got to say anyone who was thinking of renewing their season ticket must now be seriously reconsidering.

If this is true we are fucked http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/06/03/newcastle-united-to-add-quality-rather-than-quantity-61634-33419183/

The trouble is that the comedians on TV represent about 1% of the comedians on the circuit.

You seem incapable of understanding that comedy is performed in different places to different rules

I did a gig in Coatbridge to their loyal Flute Band and followers that was a horrendous gig but I knew it would be.

I used to be.

Well if it's laughable then thats alright. If you don't like it don't go it's a fairly simple concept.

Saw him live at the Sage then met him after with Ross Noble for a drink very funny exceptionally clever still tries to push the boundaries of comedy. A true comedian as an art form guy.

The simple rules of enjoying a night out at a comedy club. 1: choose wisely, have you seen, heard of the acts before if not be prepared you may not get the comedy on offer. 2: be courteous, comedy is subjective you may not like the act on but otgers might. So don't talk over an act because you don't like them other people also paid to get in. 3: respect the acts, the prople at the stand and the hyena did not just turn up and ask to go on, they will have worked at nights in pubs all over writing and discarding material until they are deemed acceptable for the jump up in class. 4: are tgey an open spot. Open spots are very new comedians who are being given a chance talking over them is a cunts trick. 5: don't get tanked up. If you do your chances of getting kicked out, into a fight, made to cry (seen it done) greatly increases. 6: dont go if you're easily offended my favourite gag I wrote was just after it was revealed Jordans kid was blind. I said "I knew she would have some fuckers eyes out with those" a woman got up and left as she was leaving I remarked brilliant the average IQ in here just increased I can do the clever stuff now. 7: comedy is not an audience participation event don't try and join in.

The Hyena is being muscled out by the Stand which is as has previously been stated replacing it at the North East's top comedy venue. It has an awful reputation and they may be trying too hard to correct that. That said anybody who talks during a comedy gig is the lowest form of scum and should be taken out and shot.

Everybody reckons the Hyena is a bear pit worse than Jongleurs nowadays.

Too many things to list all. Stuck paper up nose. Ate xmas decorations. Seallowed tiddlywink. Stitches in knee. Stitches in face. Knocked over. Caught organising shoplifting gang at school. Slashed tyres of opposing basketball team after defeat. Threw bricks at police during miners strike. Mixed with wrong crowd at football matches in the 80s. Joined the army. Mixed with wrong crowd in the army. Got in the wrong car on 25th November 1988. Drugs in the 90s After that I wasn't a kid.

Unfortunately it's where his brain should be.