Nyff

What the fuck is Danny Simpson doing that far forward when we are hanging on? Sure enough they get a goal from where he should have been.

FUCK OFF.

Come on....hold in there....Ben Arfa to win it for us

Who is this Perch we are seeing? He is defending surprisingly well...

Please tell me Pardew has brainwashed Shola into playing well against anyone in red and white.

To be fair, Perch has looked alright thus far. Sorry for jinxing it, though.

Oh Obertan, piss off. What a chance that could have been.

What the fuck? Well, that's the game lost...

Good half. Obertan useless, but hopefully he will come off at half time. Silly to leave him on. Bring on Cisse, drop Ba back into the Obertan role to annoy their CMs.

Obertan is hilarious to watch. Someone needs to make a YouTube video of him falling over himself. To the tune of the Benny Hill theme.

I really REALLY love Ben Arfa. Just such a good outlet.

Williamson...

Oh. Shit.

BARFA YOU BEAUT!

Shakey...

Obertan showing us his useless first touch already.

Now losing 2-0 to Barnsley at home in the League Cup. What on earth am I doing wrong!?

I can't win for shit. Lost 2-0 to Wolves in the first game of the season then just lost 4-3 to Norwich. Doesn't help that Ba is injured but even so - my defence is shocking. Brought in Welbeck and Maxi Rodriguez on loan, Nangis in for the future and Guti on a free for cover. Not going well at all. But my first games on FM never do, so will probably start again after half a season if things don't pick up.

Aye, just got it now. Only in pre-season but already having real problems scoring...

How do you go about getting it for a fiver?

Some call him the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks.

If your career has got to a stage where you can't keep track of Shola then it is probably time to give up.

We really need to create a Shola meme...

Can't really have a go at Cisse. He is the type of player to capitalise on balls into the box which we just weren't doing. We look a better side when we play it around and then down the wings before sticking a ball into the middle. Don't know what we expect to create with our hoof-ball tactics, especially when we have such good ball playing CMs.