Christmas Tree

As the wait falls off, the boots are going on and the Lake District will be my oyster. £5.00 ebay

The human race will always survive. Even though morally and socially fucked, the people of southwick still eek a living on the banks of the wear.

The winner? Having given this some more thought..... This also puts me 4 steps from the oval office, 4 steps from the big red button, 4 steps from the book of secrets ( Roswell etc) and within touching distance ( if not inside) Marylin Monroe!

Just been advised by a lady who I've been taxi ing for a year or so that she used to be married to a wealthy Greek and was a guest at jackies kennedys wedding to the Greek bloke and sat next to jackie during the reception. Therefore in 3 moves I have sat next to the person who sat next to the person who sat next to JFK when he was assasinated!!! Wow

You would think there would be some sort of tick list! It may be down to the speed at which they are churned out but some of these missing ingredients are so glaringly obvious that it is a mystery they can't be spotted and corrected by the people producing it.

It always suprises me how so many potentially very good films are let down by a key ingredient being fucked up. Often it is the editing which fucks up the directors story to fit a time slot. It's amazing how many times I've watched a film and thought that it had all the right ingredients but just didn't work. This one time (at band camp) when I used to make commercials they brought this luvvy coronation street director in to "direct". Didn't have a fucking clue and had to relieve him of his duties a quarter of a way through a two day shoot!

It surprises me that some still seem to think that there is much joy to be had in promotion. I can not see anything but regular hammerings and a swift exit.

Swap alan Johnson for Leazes Mag and we can all sleep safely.

Wallop them I tell ya, wallop them!

Great line up today, think we'll wallop them.

Seemples.... Barton back to midfield, Nolan to centre back. Win / Win

Just my fucking luck, the first cam that came up was two girls having a sleepover who quickly fucked off because i dont have a cam, the second one was some fucker showing off a very large boner!!!!

Surely you can't argue hair growth is not normal sir? FFS don't start the owld git on beards. In half an hour he'll have supped his last half of Scotch and be on here railing against the left wing beardy weirdys. " We didn't have bearded footballers under Shepherd & Hall. In my life experience , only terrorists have beards...."

Like you I've had this problem over the years on various machines. I've also wasted quality time fucking around getting irate. Much easier to nip down to the local independant computer shop in the morning, pay them the standard £35 quid and pick it up all shiny and new a few hours later. Better than ruining your weekend trying to save a few quid.

ok agreed.... Dog whisperers and Dog fiddlers added to the list.

For peados and history teachers. Read somewhere that men often try a beard during feelings of sexual inadaquecy!

oddly enough around 50% of the people who are afraid of flying are worried about the flying bit............... not buying the farm seems to be related to a fear that you are not in control .......... I have a fear of flying that developed around the time of Lockerbie. I have no idea what exactly triggered it. Up until this time I had flow on many types of planes, including little two seaters, all with pleasure and no fear. Over the years this has also to a lesser degree being joined by trains and being a back seat passenger in a two door car. I have often felt this is a not being in control issue, however death does play a major part. But..... It can't just be a death thing as there are numerous other situations like riding a lift that don't worry me. That would suggest that I trust the mechanics but not the controller. I do still fly but only with either blockers or lashings of alcohol (which puts in danger of being the hoax bomb prick) every now and again I think I'm cured but I'm not.

Until smith scores

So this isnt your band then http://www.myspace.com/agentfive

....and Childcare....and healthcare.....and boilercare....etc. Its a one-stop shop for modern life. I wish i could give NJS some advice but the only two mates who use these sort of sites do it to shag birds, not go out with them. One of them told me that he met this one bird who he shagged on the first date and she asked him to double-fist her. What sort of bird meets a man off the interenet and gets into a fisting session? Let alone a double. He also uses that dateacougar.com and reckons he met this Russian milf with 'cracking bolt-ones but a moody boat'. His words not mine. Funny old world really. Brilliant. NJS this is where you need to be. Had a quick search and theres 101 signed up and ready to go in this area including. You'll do as you're told, won't you? 29 year old woman who likes to get her own way with fit, submissive boys. I'm 5'6", slim but curvy size 12, have dark hair and green eyes and I'm likely to get under your skin. Likes biting and scratching then kissing it better. Expects fitness, intelligence and obedience. Mind, there's a few old boilers on there as well.

Bottom line is some computer has matched you up so they are more likely after a similar outcome to yourself and will also be dating more than one bloke at a time. I would suggest that you be honest and tell them that you are not wanting to rush into any serious relationship. This will instantly put off the desperados and avoid you looking like a desperado. I am sure that dating in this much more relaxed way will lead to better dates and more chance of naturally finding someone who you have real things in common with and a fair crack at making a lasting relationship. I would however refer to to the earlier snake with tits comment and suggest instead cheap whores, pornos and Peter Palm.

While there are rare exceptions and things can go tits up (Life eh?) I tend to normally follow government advice on such things. They always have "our" best interests at the forefront of these things. Why anyone would think they could come to a better more informed decision based on a few web pages and discussion boards is quite strange. Governments spend vast sums researching testing etc etc Risks are minimal and should not be blown out of proportion. Planes crash etc etc etc

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Pandemic-flu/Pages/QA.aspx