Monkeys Fist

I’ve always wondered which of the following they consider to be the classiest? 1- Glassing your chairman when he’s out for a meal with his wife. 2- Racially abusing your striker’s mother 3- Shitting all over your stadium and village. Maybe it’s a cumulative thing?

£2 more and I can get you a box of Wasps.

I looked up “North East Heating Trades League”, just to see if it actually exists. Only hit, from 2021… Incidentally, further down the same page…

As well as all the clear benefits this win gives us re. League position, GD, confidence etc, let’s not forget how pissed off Andrew will be at having to start another match thread.

Aye, but they’ll all have had a Wetherspoons breakfast #dannyb

If we get Fifth, I’m retiring

It’s really good- as you say, some of the performances of singers she cites as influences are incredible, the Carleen Anderson one doing Don’t Look Back in Anger is sublime.

A Study in Bemusement … ” Mama, why do these fat people keep taking photos of us?” ” I don’t know, mija “ ” Did Papi do something wrong?” ” No, angel, just smile, they’ll go away soon” ” But they don’t, Mama, they keep making us hold flags, and they smell like old churros” ” What is a sunderland, Mama?” ” I don’t know niña, I’ve never heard of it”

“One in the eye for Derrum Mags, marra! “ I’m not sure what he’s getting at here, but I can smell the desperation

Imagine…

There’s a Viz advert for everything

Aye, but, small boats. Or something

And everyone thought she was green because she was an alien. Galloping fanny rot, innit?

I knew when I was in Scotland - they all told me.

Only on sundaes

Rear view camera mate.

Drove through here on the way to Cornhole-on-Tweed today. Lots of middle aged blerks in snazzy shirts , out for a stroll with their fine looking nieces.… Couldn’t understand a word, mind.

Did you at least get to call the canteen Sabu & Gunga Din’s Chicken Curry with Rice Parlour?

I like the one where he’s in a seemingly innocuous situation and somehow, something gets misconstrued, leading to him and others shouting over each other. Later, at a lunch with his shouty mates, and maybe some celebrity guest, they shout some more. Eventually he realises he fucked up.

Norm MacDonald was top notch

Ring me later, yeah? Place is full of snakes.