Monkeys Fist

I think I'm in love with Ma Jonas

There was a very good, centuries long drinking culture in Hungary until last year. The entire country suddenly became morose, moved in with parents and stopped going out. This followed the appearance of Coldplay in Budapest. There is a thriving trade in fake pills though

Following the massive earthquake in Ecuador today, thought I'd share this article I read recently. It's about the very real, very imminent threat posed to the NW Pacific states in the US by the little known Cascadia Fault Line. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/07/20/the-really-big-one Sobering stuff.

I'm going to Wideopen

Roomba- " You've dumped me for a taller, slimmer model you bastard! "

I'm going to Reykjavik. (This only works if you're a girl, called Vic, but hey-ho)

Well, fuck me.

Where's my award?

During the course of cooking Le Menu de Vendredi Soir Chez Fist, ( Rib-eye steaks, Greek salad and sautéed shrooms, *dusts off the Gimp suit 'cos I'm cashing in my Nectar points!), Mrs. Fist got in a flap when I used a tea towel to wipe some water drops out of a hot steak pan-" Eeeeh, careful, you'll set fire to the tea towel!" Me- " Relax woman! I used to be a chef, no fires here tonight". Cut to a few minutes later, I'm cooking the steaks and think, " I can smell burning" The tea towel I'd put on the bench has unfurled and set alight Swift transfer to the sink, doused, binned, and some frantic wafting, and I've got away with it

TS groaners and Ron Swanson. Winning combo.

Well, that's cheered me right up.

The Muppet is way sexier.

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/kzPRQKO

Here's an option- don't act like a pack of cunts in future.

He wasn't really outside- do you see??Ha Ha Ha Ha?

So the other day when it was pissing down I noticed my son looking through the window with a really sad expression. After an hour or so I let him in.

Oooooo, how cuntroversial. The tribunal found the exact opposite to what you're saying- the club did treat him differently as a result of his cancer. ( is this you emulating your idol, and giving Authoritay the finger? )

Before During Finished

"Newcastle managing director Lee Charnley was described as "evasive and lacking in credibility". You don't say.