Monkeys Fist

Isn't it to counter the Gayrays from the thousands of empty pink seats in their stadiette?

The best thing about having kids, without question, is taking them to see all the animated movies, acting like its a bit of a chore to the Mrs ( who wouldn't go if life on Earth depended on it), then filling them full of the worst sweets imaginable, popcorn, Cola, and any other normally prohibited kets, watching(and thoroughly enjoying), the movie with them, then handing them over to Mrs.F with a" I've done my bit for the day, your turn" as you slope off to the local hostellry. Works every time

I work in Leeds regularly. It smells of margarine and cheap biscuits. Terrible place.

I'd use a Ned Beatty to distract them

You'll do well here.

My tent used to be a regular wild boar arse-rubbing station when I lived in the wilds. Used to freak me the fuck out, probably more due to the prodigious amounts of greenery I smoked than any malicious porcine master plan.

" His remains were found lodged in the chimney breast, having stunk up the place for weeks".

Ulysses and Ostara? Probably best off dying in a jungle, tbh.

£13.80 a sitting, then?

Use the glove detector setting?

Lads, lads, space is just a painting on the inside of the ice dome.

We're the Mags at work,We're the Mags at work, We are, We are, We're the Mags at work !

Shall we tell them?

I apolog.... Nah.

Isn't Portland hipster Central? He'll be able to dust off that horror show of a Trophyshy suit he wore on Channel 5.

The negotiations. Agent-" We've had an offer from Portland ,Tayls, I think it's the best we're going to get." Taylor - " Ah divvent fancy the south coast, full of cockneys." Agent-" No no, Portland in the Pacific North West" Taylor-" North West? Near Carlisle? Belta, I'll nip across the A69 and still be home in time for peeve." Agent-" No Steven, the Pacific North West. Across the pond, you know?" Taylor- " Whaat?? What about the tsunamis and talibans and that? No way" Agent -" It's in AMERICA man! The USA" Taylor- " Mint! Will I get to meet the Fonz? I want to meet the Fonz. I'm not signing unless I get to meet the Fonz" Agent-" Ok Steven, leave it with me...." *mutters - " Jeeeesus"

That's the very brief version of events, catching the bastard was perilous, considering it was virtually quadriplegic the thing could still shift, and peck. Fuck me could it peck

There'll be 25 threads on RTG within the hour. " Mag twats turn on each other over Moyes"

We hit one whilst driving near Blanchland , many years ago. Felt it going under two wheels ( bump, squawk, bump, crunch), thought " Ah well, it won't have felt much". Cut to an hour or so later, we are coming back down the same road, there it is hopping along the side of the road, one leg totally fucked and its wings on Joey Deacon style. We decided the only thing to do was wring its neck- easier said than done We must've stretched the fucker's neck 7-8 inches and twisted it like we were giving it a Chinese burn- just pissed it off, the squawky fucker. We eventually finished it off by holding its head and swinging the rest of it, lassoo style, around our heads until it died. Stubborn fucker deserved it.

This is what happens, Renton, when you find a Corbynite in the Alps.

Always liked the lad.