Monkeys Fist

Photo on BBC of this mornings storm.

You talking about the original, with Yul Brynner? If so, aye, it's a cracking movie.

"What the fuuck was tha...oh no, I've shit myself" *keeps eyes closed, pretends to still be unconscious. Nurse- " Wake up love, we need to get you changed. Come on Stevie, wake up!"

Hitting the crags. Started rock climbing at 12, I needed to learn how to get to high ground before I drowned in the waves of knickers coming my way

Just watched Bryan Cranston as LBJ in All The Way on sky Atlantic. Fuck me he's a good actor.

Bitchez be dripping.

Like I said, I was the smallest/youngest in my year until I was 15. I went from this ( me in the orange cagoule, I was 12 here) I was this size until I was 14+. to this Just before I turned 15, I'm in the left, who everyone on the right is looking at with raw lust ( well, the teacher on the far right is anyway, she's definitely staring at my luggage )

Good God man! Only 10?

I have to say, the following summer I turned into a right muscly fucker ( puberty- fucking great at times ) and when I went back to school he'd lost interest, so I collared his sidekicks individually and give them a right slapping.

Remember that bloke who'd stick a £5 on 5-0 Darren Peacock 1st scorer every match? Was he your dad?

Best thing your lad can do Trooper is not show fear - he doesn't need to be going in all guns blazing and pummelling the little shithouse, but he can't let this kid know he's scared ( even if he's shitting himself). Bullies thrive on the fear. I was bullied at school by this utter cunt, still no idea why, but him and his two sidekicks spent a year trying to break me. I was pretty much the smallest lad in my year at 14, and this twat was one of the forwards on the rugby team-massive but fucking slow, I could outrun him all day everyday, and often had to He'd collar me in and out of school, and if I couldn't get away he'd have me up against the wall, hand on my throat, promising all sorts of kickings, but that was as far as it went. First couple of times it happened I was terrified, but then realised he was all piss and wind- if he was going to batter me, he'd had the chances. After that, I'd show no fear to him, which he fucking hated and didn't have the wit to not show it. My point is, whilst having his brothers trail him is sound advice (first priority is protect your lad from violence), ultimately if this little turd decides to carry it on, its down to your lad to deal with it. It's all well and good saying " He needs to just fucking welly the kid", but if your boy isn't a scrapper, it's not going to happen, is it? Talk with your lad and fill him full of confidence, tell him he doesn't need to fight but he mustn't be a pushover either. If all that fails, go round the kids house and stick the heed on his dad

2-0 to us. Piss biscuits.

https://mobile.twitter.com/SSportsToon/status/775784556842651649 Shelveys 2nd.

Points going to Quiff and SpartaFc tonight

5 fucking nil!

Bob Murray on the bottom one.... "Ah shiiiit! Looks like a fucking paedo"

The Pigfucker is hanging up his hog harness http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37342152 Off to make millions for his offshore accounts.

Moonfaces final tatters of credibility. RIP David Cameron to quit as Tory MP http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37342152 BEST PM IN .......

That's just nasty, on their birthdays too.