Monkeys Fist

Our erstwhile Tory fucknut will sharp be in panic mode when the shops run out of duck fucking pizza. Whether that happens before his income source goes for a burton is up for debate, but either way, there’ll be Deliverance style squealing from Boldon when the reality of what the stupid fuck voted for hits home.

Revolution beckons, comrade. Burn Anglo pizza, blockade Station Road.

All bacon-based japery aside, the consequences of a no-deal exit are fucking terrifying. This article, calling for a general strike ( which I’ll get to afterwards), is fucking horrific when you realise what’s actually being said- stockpile your medicines if you need them, same with food, you know, just basic civilisation shit. The cunts who caused this, and have the power to stop it in its tracks, are preparing for it by readying the military to hit the streets. Absolute madness.

Can Wor Jezza eat like a regular human being? Maybe that’s his winning card- May can’t eat chips, Milliband fucked up eating a bacon sarnie, and Cameron went for broke and fucked the bacon at source. Edit; He’s a fucking vegetarian. Disregard this post.

Fucking incredible. The country is is being deliberately driven off a fucking cliff, and the media are shitting their fucking pants because Corbyn might or might not have called the Driver stupid. What a fucking shitshow we are living through. Can we have a war or something, instead please? Anything but this fucking slow motion suicide.

Harry not a tit man, then?

As is tradizione, La Bella with quality festive stylings.

A blind mate of mine was offered a job - 2 days a week, 10am-2pm, office based. data inputting. £100,000pa and company car. He turned it down. I asked him him why and he said he just couldn’t see himself doing it.

Have you become a Sweaty?

The Big 3 unwritten rules of life... 1. 2. 3.

Im going to tell my Star Wars loving son this, until he goes insane.

I’ve been a bit down lately, and mate said , ” Cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck in a water-filled hole in the ground”. I know he means well.

Been reading a Stephen Hawking book about anti-gravity. Didn’t have great expectations for it, but I can’t put it down.

Me and a mate were comparing the worst jobs we’d done. I told about the time I worked 12hr shifts for Dunlop, tearing the bottoms off faulty tennis shoes to recycle the rubber. It was sole destroying.

Mexican lad I worked with had prosthetic feet. Called him Roberto. He had a nice Audi through Motability, until some swine nicked it, which was when I learnt his full name. Roberto Carlos. I’m here all day…

Left West Brom earlier this year, I think. I dont don’t really care, tbh.

My mate tried to flog me his 52” HD telly, al the bells and whistles, but the volume is stuck on 20. £50 I couldn’t turn it down.

Looking at available candidates…

Mrs. F. would’ve been 17-18 at the time, in Forest Hall, (and I hadn’t met her) so had no say in the matter. I was busy slutting my way my way round Europe, Switzerland was chalet-girl time. Fugazi was was one of the choices I’d bang on when I was riding my plank in the snow Hand on the Torch by US3 was another.

What’s that I smell? It’s like Ham, only posherer

Can’t speak for Wykiki, but a nice bit of Fugazi used to gently ease me in to my morning ride.

Wanks on planks was our Nom de shred. Also, get on the Port and Brandies.

To everyone that’s had a birthday this year , happy birthday!