Monkeys Fist

Happy Birthday old chap.

It does, to be fair

Oh aye, I know precisely the kind of music, just never it heard called Yacht Rock before.

Yacht Rock? That’s a new genre to me, mind.

Twelve Trooper cycles. (Thats like a Star Wars parsec )

Bit fucking nippy hanging off the Uni today, like. I almost put my gloves on… I tell thee

I bet that stang.

Or “ Yo, da fuck?”, as Bravado Dave might say.

We’ll be moving in the New Year. Moving to a bigger 1940s semi, with a fuck-off big extended kitchen and lounge. There’s no chains involved, so as long as there’s no fuckery from the buyer, it should be fairly smooth. I was round there this afternoon drawing up a list of what actually needs doing before we move, and what pointless shite Mrs. F will be unable to function without. It was a pleasingly small list.

Stop wetting the bed, man!

Honestly man Trooper, do yourself a favour and stop being remotely optimistic- we’re owned by Mike Ashley, the worst possible outcome in any given situation is the one that will happen. Think this way and anything nice that slips through the fatnet is s bonus.

Even if he does look like the resultant monster from Mark Gatiss impregnating Rob Brydon.…

In keeping with the time honoured traditions of TT, I feel I ought to inform you scurvy cunts that I sold my house today. Only put it on the market last week, so I’m fairly chuffed. I’ll keep you all minutely updated with every single detail of my experiences moving in to my new gaff, as and when it happens. I just know you’re all fighting the urge to crack one off from the sheer anticipation.

A white horse walks in to a bar and the barman says, ” Oh, we’ve got a whisky named after you!” The horse says, ” Fuck off. Pint of lager”.

The disgust is palpable.

My work here is done.

And 15 pints.

Next you’ll be saying you want kids.

Oh… have you got a BMW, Fish?

Someone buy one. The poor lad can’t afford a nail to hang the bastard up with.

Aaaand the City of Culcha 2021 is… Coventry The inbreeds couldn’t beat an egg at the moment.

He has.