Monkeys Fist

Oi vay!

Aye, she’s pretty repulsive in it.

Stuck on a boat for 150 days with Jennifer Connelly though?

The way Mackems pronounce that song’s title makes my teeth itch.

In your Dreams, bog trotter.

You wouldn’t want to linger… I’ll get me coat.

Suspected Heart Attack.

What if it’s her shithole that’s rotted? That’s pretty disgusting.

Depends which bit of her is rotted, tbh.

I can give you all the graphite details.

Woah! They’re not made of real frog?

No matter how shitty the weather, no matter how much the kids whine on or do your nut in, no matter how fucking desperate you get, don’t go to the Pencil Museum in Keswick. It’s exactly as shite as it sounds. If its not too windy/pissing down, hiring a rowing boat and taking the kids out to St.Herberts Island on Derwentwater is a good way to fill a morning/afternoon. If it is windy and pissing down, the Honister Slate Mine is a great trip, for kids and adults alike.

… which is when he holds up a Dulux colour chart next to his nose, on the brown page

Me three.

He was a cabbie, wasn’t he?

What’s innacurate about the word “tits”, you trembling throbber?

There’s a canny few possibilities on AirB&B @Dr Gloom , here’s a couple from Keswick and Ambleside area- they’d work out at around £80-90 per couple per night, which isn’t too bad. https://abnb.me/EVmg/OHslogyTnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/tsVLkkTTnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/FjsRQz0TnJ https://abnb.me/EVmg/GZFw5m8TnJ

It’s not like a Mackem to flip flop… oh, hang on.