Monkeys Fist

I think KCG has the painters in.

Digging up lumps of rust in a muddy field.

Danish CT-“I’m a member of the Danish National Symphony Orchestra” Bored Neighbour-“ Oh, what do you play, violin?” DCT- “ Err, no…” BN-“ You in the brass section then?” DCT- “ Close…ish” BN-“ Just fucking tell me what you play!” DCT “… … planks.”

What level did you study it, Bunter, and how did they tell you you’d failed?

I took a pic of my kids at Thiepval in 2015, which captures, I think, the unique atmosphere of these WW1 memorials and cemeteries.

Given the current climate in Luvvieland, they’ll want to be veerrrry careful who they cast.

How embarrassing it’ll be to get the side-eye from Burton fucking Albion. MLF-“ Eeyah Burton, uz and yayuh ‘ave gorra speshil relationship, ‘aven’t us?” BfA-

Edit; I am a fanny’s hair away from selling Fist Hall, I can confirm Estate Agents are incompetent idiots.

The fact they’ll be playing Burton two seasons in a row has a delicious irony.

Emptier than their bank account.

Behold the Master Race!

Just spent hours convincing my mate Pascal, who’s a chef in Lyon, not to top himself. He’d lost the huile d’olive. Happy Easter chaps.

I wonder if they tried switching him off and then switching him back on again? RIP

Thats more than a little disturbing.

He wants shot with shit for that, mind.

As soon as Parky showed up on the News Channel with his tinfoil hat on, you knew exactly what was going to happen. 5/7.

Tudor pickled onion- how to turn your mouth in to a puckered cats hole with one crisp. Mind you, at least Tudor had the right colour/flavour combo. Green is cheese and onion. Blue is salt and vinegar. Anything else is wrong

… shaft?

The fine line between genius and lunacy, personified.

Eh? Burn the freak! Burn it!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42820514