Monkeys Fist

His mam needs to get him some more play dates.

It appears you share, with Princess Kate/Catherine/Sugartits, the common affliction of sand in the vag.

Speak up

“ The Crown accepts the defendant is innocent on the grounds of Jaffa and Batty , however, there is a compensatory claim for damages outstanding. The driver of the minicab, a Mr. Chris. Mastree, has submitted a list of cleaning charges following the incident in question; Cleaning of batter ( fanny)- £50 Disposal of 40kg of empty pizza boxes ( duck flavour)- £50 Disposal of 14 (pairs) of soiled, XXXL Asda Menswear y-fronts. - £50 Disposal of 1 condom ( XXS) - £50 Loss of earnings and mental suffering - £5080. Mr. Mastree has offered to waive the financial penalties if defendant carries out 100hrs of unpaid service at North East Solo Metectors Club. What say you Mr. Gemmil?” ” Cash or cheque?”

TAXI!

None that you’re aware of, certainly …

Kinky bitch!

It’s top-drawer entertainment watching them do it over, and over, and over again. If it sounds even vaguely anti-NUFC, they’re on it like a dog eating chips with their , let’s call them ‘embellishments’. “ See Brewno got a yellow* in the match I didn’t watch” ” Aye marrow, should’ve been a red” ” Aye, he nearly broke the lads leg” ” Aye, elbowed him in the face too” ” I heard Brewno is shagging the lads wife” ” And his mam…” ” WHAT A BASTARD! “ ” TYPICAL MAG SCUM!” ” ‘E’s A DIZZGRAYUCE!” * booked for dissent

Could be worse- could be Tony.

Aye If I was betting a fellow, I’d put money on at least one of the robbers being closely related to Unkal Mick.

Nowt wrong with Persian is there?

I wouldn’t climb over her to shag you, like, even her older self

I have to take a mandatory 45 minute break- I’m in fucking Hendon. Fuck my bastard luck.

She’s got the wong accent. Giddup!

Alex Two Times.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-67994919 Lass from Wolverhampton wakes up with a Geordie accent. Someone needs to get her to safety, quick, before the Ready to Groom mob claim her as MLF.

A lot of their squad must worth fuck all then, because they’ve got a £30m, £25m and £15m player on the books. Is this all part of The Model?

I worked with a Moosefucker who’d done a couple of seasons of that. Top lad, 5’6” and 6’ wide.

Have you just called @trophyshy a fatty?

Done.

I wonder what the fans of Man City, Chelsea, Man Utd, Sheffield, Leicester, Aston Villa, etc etc etc* think of foreign investment in football? * deliberately left the mackems out because Kyril has invested the square root of fuck all in them.

Saudi Arabia don’t own us, though, do they?

The thing about poor behaviour like this, as a parent, is that your kids remember every little detail, even if they’re too young to know what’s going on. Once they’re older they work it out and then the real problems start. I avoided any chance of that by getting my two absolutely skullfucked on scag when they were little, so they don’t remember me and the Mrs. crawling round the bathroom looking for the giant blue spiders.