Monkeys Fist

Looks like he’s been on a days-long bender

Three bagger. Still would.

“So, there I was, tearing the neck off it, when ‘pop’, the old shoulder came out.…”

You know it’s bad when one team is being panned for being diving, cheating shithouses, and the other team is Spain. Who’ve just scored.

Minge like a badly-packed kebab.

It’s fucking incredible that civilisation ever made it out of the Fertile Crescent, given how fucking delicate these Iranians are.

Chill out man, you screaming fanny. Strictly Come Celebrity Baking Factor is starting soon.

Is that what’s left of Pamela Anderson?

Someone’s getting demoted.

I don’t think you understand the word adrenaline.

Properly debated? “ Is it ok to take surreptitious photos up a lasses skirt?” ” No.” ” Pass the bill”.

Sense and Utter Cuntery are not often bedfellows.

Clearly not a Mackem then.

Closet???

Titty Bars- not even once.… Glad to serve as an example, you pack of cunts. Seriously though, Gloomy, if you’re drinking to the point of memory loss, you might want to rein it in. I used to drink like a thirsty camel in my twenties, could handle it no bother. For a time, though, in my thirties, I had a bit of a dark spell where I was drinking mainly to blot shit out. Thats when the memory loss sessions kick in. Rather than trying to “give up the booze”, work out why you’re caning it. Chances are you probably already have a good idea. Once you’ve worked that out, you can address it, and then get on with having a nice drink as and when you fancy. That, or you’re a raging lush

All this, just to burn the living shit out of a dozen Asda basics frozen burgers.

I bet that story had a “happy ending” too.

A certain Donald J Trump wasn’t on that commitee was he? Fucking mental tbh. When Blatter was fucked off, FIFA had the opportunity to redeem themselves re. the shady allocation of this Russian and the upcoming Qatari WC. Nope.

Fills me full of hope for the next tournament in Qatar…

Could be worse, he could make £500 a week and dig weeds in Whitley Bay. Dirty charity thiefs …