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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist
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Charles Aznavour, 94. Don’t think his owld man was too keen on him, judging by his middle name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Aznavour
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I’m picturing essembee slapping on the blackface and wrapping a tea towel round his head after his weekly overdose of Mackie Tans, then running up and down his street in Pennywell shouting “Goodness Gracious Me! I’m foreign, you know” in a terrible Indian accent, to a chorus of slamming doors from his poor neighbours.
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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)
Monkeys Fist replied to Craig's topic in Newcastle Forum
North Shields Sambucas -
Cristiano Ronaldo arrested on suspicion of rape.
Monkeys Fist replied to Jimbo's topic in Newcastle Forum
Just every time old Spaghetti-Heed rapes someone. Allegedly… -
Why’d you join the Army then? Or didn’t you?
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They don’t. Fucking stinkers.
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Just proving that you can’t polish a turd.
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We’d never have guessed.
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I’m struggling to see the relevance, but hats off for the support. Wor Ingrid has her knockers, but at least she never employed JFK?? ( I’m struggling to shoehorn any more tit jokes in here folks, so I’ll nip it in the bud).
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Oh, you sweet summer child
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The actual moment a shite WUM gives up any pretence of being genuine and just goes all-out. And yet… still utterly underwhelms.
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I’ll wait until it’s on Jimbo’s telly.
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This has an entirely different, but equally unpleasant (or not, depending on which way stir the pot), meaning up here.
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Film/moving picture show you most recently watched
Monkeys Fist replied to Jimbo's topic in General Chat
For a young chap, navigating the stormy waters of early adolescence, in search of the remotest chance of seeing some fleeting glimpse of late-night tv titties, any film of Wor Ingrid’s was an absolute home-banker. ( that’s banker…). Unless it was Where Eagles Dare… but I’m almost positive I probably tore the neck off it when she showed up in that anyway -
Definitely the case for Max Clifford.
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Film/moving picture show you most recently watched
Monkeys Fist replied to Jimbo's topic in General Chat
Possibly the only film where Ingrid Pitt didn’t unleash the puppies. Terrible shame -
That’s older than Noelie.
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Bloke walks in to a bakery with a salmon under his arm, ” Do you do fish cakes?” ” No, sorry, we don’t ” says the baker. “ Shame.…” says the bloke, pointing at the Salmon. “It’s his birthday”.
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Barking seal mistaken for dog sparks Sunderland 999 call-out http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-45547007 Fucking window lickers.
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Just needs some desperate alchy from Leeds to start sending the police some hoax tapes.
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CGULZRCUNTZ@gmail.com. There.
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Got to sort the wheat from the West Midlands Racist Trolls…
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Aye, but they didn’t punch it, Marra. FTH