Monkeys Fist

Why have Germany never won an athletics Olympic gold? No matter how hard they try, they just can’t seen to finish a race.

Well there’s a shock.

Why the fuck would he break the habits of a lifetime and start thinking now?

He’d probably do it if you paid him enough

When you’re scraping round for a few quid to keep your kid in pencils for his class with the gay lisp teacher, give me a bell, I’ll see if I can help you out. Oh, hang on, no I won’t, because fuck you.

http//www.stupidcuntbelievesanythingrightwingownedmediatellshim Ding dong.

Our erstwhile Tory fucknut will sharp be in panic mode when the shops run out of duck fucking pizza. Whether that happens before his income source goes for a burton is up for debate, but either way, there’ll be Deliverance style squealing from Boldon when the reality of what the stupid fuck voted for hits home.

Revolution beckons, comrade. Burn Anglo pizza, blockade Station Road.

All bacon-based japery aside, the consequences of a no-deal exit are fucking terrifying. This article, calling for a general strike ( which I’ll get to afterwards), is fucking horrific when you realise what’s actually being said- stockpile your medicines if you need them, same with food, you know, just basic civilisation shit. The cunts who caused this, and have the power to stop it in its tracks, are preparing for it by readying the military to hit the streets. Absolute madness.

Can Wor Jezza eat like a regular human being? Maybe that’s his winning card- May can’t eat chips, Milliband fucked up eating a bacon sarnie, and Cameron went for broke and fucked the bacon at source. Edit; He’s a fucking vegetarian. Disregard this post.

Fucking incredible. The country is is being deliberately driven off a fucking cliff, and the media are shitting their fucking pants because Corbyn might or might not have called the Driver stupid. What a fucking shitshow we are living through. Can we have a war or something, instead please? Anything but this fucking slow motion suicide.

Harry not a tit man, then?

As is tradizione, La Bella with quality festive stylings.

A blind mate of mine was offered a job - 2 days a week, 10am-2pm, office based. data inputting. £100,000pa and company car. He turned it down. I asked him him why and he said he just couldn’t see himself doing it.

Have you become a Sweaty?

The Big 3 unwritten rules of life... 1. 2. 3.

Im going to tell my Star Wars loving son this, until he goes insane.

I’ve been a bit down lately, and mate said , ” Cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck in a water-filled hole in the ground”. I know he means well.

Been reading a Stephen Hawking book about anti-gravity. Didn’t have great expectations for it, but I can’t put it down.

Me and a mate were comparing the worst jobs we’d done. I told about the time I worked 12hr shifts for Dunlop, tearing the bottoms off faulty tennis shoes to recycle the rubber. It was sole destroying.

Mexican lad I worked with had prosthetic feet. Called him Roberto. He had a nice Audi through Motability, until some swine nicked it, which was when I learnt his full name. Roberto Carlos. I’m here all day…

Left West Brom earlier this year, I think. I dont don’t really care, tbh.

My mate tried to flog me his 52” HD telly, al the bells and whistles, but the volume is stuck on 20. £50 I couldn’t turn it down.