Monkeys Fist

One. Pronouced “Paitason” as opposed to “Pattasun”, I’m definitely nuts deep in your family

Also, don’t listen to him @Blastronaut, it fucking is! These are the same lads at a regimental reunion and that’s Peter on the right, bloke on the left is Tam or Boab or whatever

I’ll dive in here, there’s a quite reasonable chance that I’ve been banging one of your relations for nearly 30 years- Mrs. F’s maiden name is the exact same as your surname, and her Dad’s family originated from the Border ghettos near Kelso. She’s been wondering why I’ve been referring to her as “2nd niece” during the old Rumpole of the Bailey recently, but I like to keep a bit mystery going.

If there’s still Keith Flint’s tadpoles on it, I don’t really blame her.

You’d hope she’d have washed since…

Top midget or bottom midget?

Is it Withe?

Apparently, like Bob Mortimer, he does his own dentistry.

She looks like her gigantic arse continues around the front. That, or she’s two midgets - have we ever seen her without a full-length coat on?

Like Gail Porter’s minge.

As if the dirty bugger has a cleaning lady.

If the rumours are to be believed, it’s terminal gum disease.

Aye, sorry to hear it @Meenzer. It’s a properly shit time to get news like that. Have you thought about investing in Bitcoin?

No need. He has a nutsack full of these.

National Service, 1950s? My old man got lucky - he was volunteered to go to another regiment, who were then posted to the Caribbean, where he got tanned, and acquired a taste for Caribbean spice whilst his original regiment went to Suez.

Must’ve been a relief not to have to wear saucepan lids as hats though.

Which one is Soapy Soutar and which is Fat Boab?

Give it time.

Won’t be a problem finding someone to lay a cable in that place, though.

Ah shit, sorry… I forgot I was a sheeple.

The last Moustachioed Socialist in this country saved millions of lives.