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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Its almost like the whole thing is a terrible idea and should never have been put to referendum. How Moonface Pigfucker has got away with it, relatively scot-free, is a source of amazement to me.
  2. What filling would you rather have in your shit sandwich? A1: Greasy kebab dribble turd A2; Chunky sweetcorn fibre log A3; Black Slug Guinness shits A4; Dont know.
  3. They’ve missed the word “Sleeves” off their nickname, silly boys.
  4. “ Cressida my dear, I’m afraid things aren’t looking rosy financially” ” Oh Bertie, please say it isn’t so!” ” I’m afraid so my dearest, I’ve already sold the family silver, the lodge in Gstaad has gone, and the twins have had to move to day-school…” ” Oh dearest, please don’t say what I think you’re about to say… anything but that!” ” We have no option my sweet, the Nappy Collection has to go… I’ve a man from Bonhams coming this afternoon”
  5. Found a new hobby for our resident clown shoe. Might come in handy in a couple of years when his ringpiece gives up the ghost. 'I paid £160 for a pair of limited edition nappies' https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-47319641 ( Also, can our Edinburgh contingent please seek out this woman and give her a slap? Cheers )
  6. You’ve missed the point of the article, which thousands have read.
  7. I’m torn, to be honest- It’ll be fucking hilarious if they go down and get their arses handed to them, but the comedic value of them actually winning and celebrating the fucking thing might just top it.
  8. “Anyone know any good coaching inns where I can water my horses?”.
  9. Whilst trying to rebuff Sir Cuntalot Letwin’s attempts to get a vote on alternatives to her train wreck in Parliament today, The Lizard had the barefaced cheek to come out with this… ”No government could give a blank cheque to commit to an outcome without knowing what it is” The cheeky fucker!
  10. He’s in good company, mind. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-reveals-how-her-faith-in-god-makes-her-certain-she-is-doing-the-right-thing-a7442616.html%3Famp
  11. You’d have a more intelligent conversation with a bag of hammered shite than CT. It’s like the Victorians going to Bedlam to poke the mentals.
  12. Pompeo says God may have sent Trump to save Israel from Iran https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47670717 Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ-on-a-cunting-bike! We’re fucked, aren’t we?
  13. If you were given a 2nd chance to vote, would you go Leave or change to Remain, now that you are aware of the omnishambles Leaving entails?
  14. Funnily enough, I just looked out of my North Tyneside window and found yours.
  15. If/when we crash out with no deal, I’ll happily go round to Tub’s gaff and donate some shithouse roll for him and his poor family. Used… naturally, and he’ll need to unwrap it from the bricks, but you take what you can get, eh?
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