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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    “Whoring”? I never paid any of them.
  2. Monkeys Fist
    My mood has definitely gone downhill.
  3. Monkeys Fist
    My daughter left on Saturday for Courmayeur in the Valle D’Aosta, Italy on a school ski trip. They got there this morning, checked in, got their skis and kit issued and had an early night as they were all knacked. Just had a call telling me they’re coming home tomorrow as the mountain has been closed. Fucking hell.
  4. Monkeys Fist
    So, what you’re saying is you’re full of shit?
  5. Monkeys Fist
    So, what you’re saying is you’re full of shit?
  6. Monkeys Fist
  7. Monkeys Fist
    Bacon saved after pedometer-eating pig's poo starts farm fire https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-51790435
  8. Monkeys Fist
    Has this gone viral yet?
  9. Monkeys Fist
  10. Monkeys Fist
    The Mrs. threatened to leave me because of my obsession with flamingoes. I really had to put my foot down.
  11. Monkeys Fist
    Double whammy!
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Two Irish couples decide to liven up their sex lives and swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of non-stop, viagra-fuelled pounding, Mick takes a breather and says ” I wonder how the girls are getting on?”
  13. Monkeys Fist
    Gillingham equalise in 96th minute against the sister fuckers
  14. Monkeys Fist
    So, I went in to the chemist and asked the lass ” What kills coronavirus on kitchen surfaces and that” ”Ammonia cleaner” she said. I said “ Sorry love, I thought you worked here”.
  15. Monkeys Fist
    Getthefuckin!
  16. Monkeys Fist
    I just bought a universal remote control. I thought to myself “ Well, this changes everything”.
  17. Monkeys Fist
    Ffs
  18. Monkeys Fist
    Pelanty?
  19. Monkeys Fist
    That’s the first red against one of our opponents since last February.
  20. Monkeys Fist
  21. Monkeys Fist
    Did he mention his dead wife or was he not getting paid enough ?
  22. Monkeys Fist
    Fuck me gently.
  23. Monkeys Fist
    So, are we going to have a sweepstake on the first Toontastic poster to get the Lurgy? Paddocklad is front runner at the minute, I’ll put myself up for it as my wee lassie is away to Northern Italy on a school ski trip tomorrow, Quiff is a risk because of all the dodgy Chinese Kamagra he’s necking, and Noelie is our eldest poster, so he’s automatically doomed.
  24. Monkeys Fist
    The most at-risk are the elderly and those with poor health.… …
  25. Monkeys Fist
    By all accounts he was a proper Little Hitler.
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