Monkeys Fist

How are you typing Corbyn here? “Bin” or “Bine”

Yes

I caught Mrs. Fist smearing Bostik all over my antique pistol collection last night. She denied it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

That’s the kind of talk that’ll see you strapped to a donkey cart…

That would break the No.1 unwritten rule of Dad jokes, which is…

Andrew has obviously been shunned by the Hobbits for not sharing his flock.

How do you spend that long in a country, working in a heavily team-focused job, and not integrate in the slightest? Baley No Mates?

Is that black crayon?

I’m struggling to imagine who would pay to listen to an evenings worth of this cunt’s ramblings.

Why not? I’d have more respect for a Leaver who changes their mind to Remain after seeing the shitshow it’s been, and the consequences of blindly rushing ahead with it, than one who stubbornly sticks with it. ( Also, let’s not forget that Stumblebore de Pfeffel changed his mind purely because he thought it would benefit him).

“Boomer” Gen X , thankyouverymuchandfuckyou.

Isn’t that the entire point?

… cough…ahem… @The Fish… cough. Watchmen creator Alan Moore: Modern superhero culture is embarrassing https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-50473092

re. Aaron Banks leaked messages etc. Will the criminal/immoral activity be… 1) Political 2) Sexual 3) Financial 4) Racist 5) Yes.

I did that next week.

Which bit? Turd or tittays? ( remember, you’re watching it upside too, so the start is the end, or something…).

Fucking Potato Face is soooo convinced that Peacock’s goal didn’t cross the line, until the replay proves him wrong- “Oh dear… looks over”. Cunt From 1:00- the magic moment at about 1:46

As much as I’d like to see him peg it horribly, (fully aware but uncontrollably shitting himself to death in prison or something), I’d also want him to stick around long enough to see his “legacy” as President being comprehensively torn to shreds by someone with human decency.

Fist Jr. has been off school on a sicky today, so we ended up watching Kong Skull Island this afternoon. What a heap of steaming turd. Not even Brie Larson’s jiggly tittays could save it.

I got a taxi the other day and the driver was banging on about his recipe for duck and kebab pizza- I asked him how to cook it? ” Sling it in the microwave- it’s oven ready…” wibble wibble.

If you’re in a hurry, get the espress.

They turn up at 5 pasta hour.

Stokoe was from Prudhoe iirc.

“ I did not FUCKING BASTARD ARSE BOLLOCKING CUNTY FUCK even meet that PISSFLAP ARSEHOLE FUCKING BITCH girl.” + sweating like fuck