Monkeys Fist

I’ve spent the last 24hrs coughing my lungs inside out- rang 111 to see about getting tested (mainly due to my wife’s key worker status), and following two telephone interviews with two different doctors, one doesn’t think I have it, one does. On their advice, we tried to arrange to get the entire family tested- Mrs. F, me and the 12 & 9 yr olds.… … Can’t arrange tests for under 18s online. Went on with the attempt, and the nearest testing centre available to us, in Forest Hall, North Tyneside is… any guesses?

The days must fly by at Steve’s gaff

He’s got a daughter with some other woman hasn’t he, one that he didn’t acknowledge for a long time? He’s just a posh fucking chav, isn’t he?

Must’ve paid the ransom.

Good God man, you’re obsessed (Does have a nice crust on it though)

Not on a plate either, 100% in a tin on a piece of fucking wood.

Dough baskets.

Is it also dripping with Bean juice?

“ So Hilarie/Hillary however the fuck you spell it today, what will be your overriding memory of the lockdown?” “Tatty minge”.

Can we call them “peggetts” to save having to type “pork and egg nuggetts” every time I want to feel sick?

From the blurb with the video ” In Assassin’s Creed® Valhalla, you are Eivor, a fierce Viking warrior raised on tales of battle and glory. Explore a dynamic and beautiful open world set against the brutal backdrop of England’s Dark Ages. Raid your enemies, grow your settlement, and build your political power in your quest to earn your place among the gods in Valhalla. Key Features WRITE YOUR VIKING SAGA–Advanced RPG mechanics allow you to shape the growth of your character and influence the world around you. With every choice you make, from political alliances and combat strategy to dialogue and gear progression, you will carve your own path to glory. VISCERAL COMBAT SYSTEM –Dual-wield powerful weapons such as axes, swords, and even shields to relive the ruthless fighting style of the Viking warriors. Brutally decapitate your foes, vanquish them from afar, or stealthily assassinate targets with your hidden blade. Challenge yourself with the most varied collection of deadly enemies ever found in an Assassin’s Creed game. A DARK AGE OPEN WORLD–Sail from the harsh and mysterious shores of Norway to the beautiful but forbidding kingdoms of England and beyond. Immerse yourself in the Viking way of life through fishing, hunting, drinking games, and more. LEAD EPIC RAIDS –Launch massive assaults against Saxon troops and fortresses throughout England. Lead your clan in surprise attacks from your longship and pillage enemy territories to bring riches and resources back to your people. GROW YOUR SETTLEMENT–Construct and upgrade buildings that allow for deep customization, including a barracks, blacksmith, tattoo parlor, and more. Recruit new members to your clan and personalize your Viking experience. MERCENARY VIKINGS–Create and customize a unique Viking raider within your clan and share it online with friends to use during their own raids”

I’m sure a bit of light rape and the odd Blood Eagle here and there will lighten the tone Does look pretty bloody good mind- presumably the map will be Northern Scandinavia, Northern England, and the North Sea for a bit of naval shenanigans, probably a lot more if they increase it compared to Odyssey?

You’ll notice these lads above aren’t particularly tanned- that’s how.

Out at Christmas

Who’d have thought we’d have won it so many times?

Half of my family are NHS or other frontline workers, the other half are 75+, so I can’t see this making much difference chez Fist

Assassins Creed Valhalla official trailer released later today. So, Viking’s next. Giddup!

Someone tell him

When did CT become a brother?

Can he beat an average success ration of 47% with leeds? I think not.

My little brother had this exact same photo signed by KK.

With Pork and egg nuggets?

“DefCan 2”