Monkeys Fist

If anyone is thinking of watching the BBC Dracula adaption, watch the first two episodes, then go and paint a fence and watch it dry. Moffat clearly took the reins for Ep.3 and royally fucked it with a big stick.

Joelinton or Ugly Mackems? Neither helps you tbh

“We’re Threelargedonersdon’tbeshywiththegarlic…ing Mate” ?

Why were we stewing beef?

As shit as we are, they always manage to be magnificently shitter.

I’ll bet he Shit himself

Oh, I don’t know… (NSFW, of the titties and minge variety).

Aye, I seem to remember him being as substantial as a wren’s cock, with a first touch that made Shola look like Messi.

Desperately disappointing tits aside, I saw this projection of the area of land currently lost to the wildfires in Oz. So, Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham and all of West England would’ve been fried. Anyone got a match?

By rights, even a patched-up squad from us should be dry-humping these lads in to oblivion. In reality, if we can scrape a draw and get a replay back at our gaff, we’ll be doing well.

He looks in the mirror every day- he’s more used to horror than most of us.

Oof! Let them burn…

I’m not saying it was aliens, but…

SMBd that for you.

Line and full house! essembee Bingo!!

Since it’s 2020 soon, I thought I’d treat you all to some Optician jokes- they’re like normal jokes, but cornea.

Anybody not waiting for ages for a Chinese takeaway tonight? Happy New Year lads.

Whoever manages to drag Brucey out of his crisp and lager coma in the bogs of The Diamond on New Year’s Morning, in time to wheelbarrow him in to the dugouts for the game, deserves a medal for enduring the fucking stench of stale beer and rancid vegetable farts he’ll be giving off. I expect his formation of Carroll in goal “c…cc…bleuurgh…cccoz he’s the biggest cunt on the pitch…” and Joelinton partnering Manquilo upfront “ Ha!… fuggen have that ya Spanish Peter Kay bassah!”, to pay dividends, but the best partnership will be between the kitman and physio to change his keks before anyone notices he’s shit his pants for the third time in the match. Leicester might just edge this.

eBay?

Chebbage?

It’s her clear diction and classy nails, isn’t it?

I had a traumatic time in my teens- I was kidnapped by a mime artist. He did some unspeakable things.