Monkeys Fist

The major supermarkets have introduced purchase limits to combat the Bog Roll Bandits. All below are per person limits. Asda - 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 24 toilet rolls. Tesco- 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 18 toilet rolls, 2kg dried pasta Sainsburys- 3 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 12 toilet rolls, 1kg rice or quinoa. Lidl - 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 1 Trumpet, 1 Diving suit or MIG welder.

It’s extremely British of them to base the entire response to this on the certain, immutable fact that after a few days of isolation most Brits will say “ Fuck this- pub time”

That Johnson is a bimbling idiot?

Stub your toe ?

Odessa Carey given hospital order over mother's decapitation https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-51855111 Jesus Christ!

The response from Merseyside would deafen dogs around the globe.

But we’ve just spent billions “taking back our sovereignty”. Why would we listen to Johnny Foriegner, especially those funny litttle yellow folk?

CT spent last week stocking up on wallpaper.

Doesn’t this contradict itself? How the fuck do they think people get to matches? Have they ever been to a match? It’s impossible to avoid physical contact at one.

Also, bollocks to bog roll, I’m stocking up on booze if so.

Countrywide?

Kielder Forest isn’t as wooden as the little cunt. Probably more mobile than him, too

He prefers travelogues

FYP

That’s a pretty sobering read.

It’s getting daft now…

I’ll give it an hour before some fucknugget on Facebook is blaming pandas for it.

Remind me again what the annual cost of EU membership was, per capita. £143 per person per annum, iirc.

That would mean finding a competent government acting in the best interests of the population. Haven’t had one of those for a while.

Owie Bowie.

Bruce charged with assault?

Go for it- I did.