Monkeys Fist

We’re fucked then.

I get the feeling that as things (rapidly) worsen, Johnson’s “Keep Calm Carry On” approach will be binned by the public.

Contagion. 0/10 Fucking ridiculous.

She pay with cash or “exposure”?

That’s not what you said fourteen pages ago. Would you like me to quote and dissect you, or shall we just agree that I’m right and , as ever, you’re talking out of your hoop?

Now you suddenly care about others? Fuck right off man.

Aye, if you’ve got Irish, Scottish, or Northumbrian heritage, chances are there’s some Viking tadpoles swimming about in there.

I can just imagine his poor young kids, sitting watching 4 frozen chickens slowly rotting in the garden. “ Daaa-aaad, when will they start making eggs?” Edit; the average going rate for a ready-to-lay chicken is between £15-20 each. Whoever sold the Tory Tit four for £20 obviously saw him coming and sold him some budgies with red Haribos glued on their heads.

I’ve got this album on while I make tea. (Chicken Yakitori Skewers with steamed broccolli and noodles).

I think this could be our year.

Where is it this year?

Not that we know about, comrade.

Also, when did everyone on here become such massive fannies? Give yourselves a shake lads.

I was thinking “potato hummus, hmmm, sounds nasty”, then realised it’d just be fucking mash. Time for a beer.

Blatant profiteering from the upcoming Chickpea Famine. You monster.

Naffytitties? Shagged most of Guide Post before 5BC.

Chickpeas… Are you saying we might run out of chickpeas? Everyone, Tom said there’s a chickpea shortage!!! Everyone buy chickpeas, NOW!

Turtle slurt.

Wasn’t Cleopatra from Ashington, though?

Wanker.

Pornhub.com.

Given that there’s only around 142,000 NHS beds in total, in all departments, I’d say we’re fucked.

Business opportunity here…

Was that armed police on the touch line right at the end?