Monkeys Fist

Dirty mackem scab coming on.

Luton are looking dangerous on the break.

BBRRRUUUNNNOOO!!!

Sorry lads, missed most of the first half as I was liberating Komatsu Forge from a few dozen Mongol bastard. We can relax this second half, Rear Admiral Sossidge is back.

Like I said - dehydrated water.

I reckon if you gave it a stupid name and pitched it right you could sell dehydrated water.

The whole concert is here if you’ve never seen it. I can’t imagine this happening today

Aye. It’s like comparing apples to a shit sandwich.

You sure about that?

Depends whereabouts in Sweatlyland Cockenzie ( which always raises a chuckle when I see the sign) is about an hour and a bit from Newcastle. Elgin is closer to Norway.

Bloke walks in to a bakery in Glasgow and says “ Is that a cream puff or a meringue?” Baker says ” No, you’re quite right, it’s a cream puff.”

Before we get into all that, do you stand or sit to wipe?

I can’t wait to sell jam to Rwanda. Watch those gold reserves overflow!!!

That’s the stark reality there like- these utter cunts and their party have decimated this country so completely that it’s a generational repair job just to get back to where we were a few years ago, never mind progress.

The thing he’s got to make the norm is honesty - being able to say for example ” Yes, you’ll pay slightly more NI, but you’ll see the benefit of it in improved services , like getting your dentist appointment in the same year or having your fucking bin emptied once a week”, and not being torn to shreds for it. The three word catchphrases Tories fucking love can get in the same bin as well- treat people with a little respect and it’ll come back to you.

Aye, maybe I’m being a touch over pessimistic there, but you know what I mean. They need PR in as soon as possible, to finish the Tories off as a ruling party for good. I’d fine with a Labour/ LibDem coalition if that’s what it took to get the country functioning for its citizens instead of the elite.

Whilst he’s not charismatic in way Johnson, or Hitler, were charismatic, that’s fine by me. Most of actual, competent governance is dull as cloudy piss, so I’m fine with him being Burton For Men at the helm, we’ve got Rayner in the Mad Dog role to keep the morons entertained. Switching the country to a socialism based one , with nationalised utilities and services, properly funded , and proportional representation ( all of which is what most of us are after) can’t be done in his first term - it’ll need a softly-softly approach since decades of Tory rule has turned many in the electorate in to selfish cunts. He’s got a job on his hands tbh, to keep Labour in power long term, beyond his tenure and whoever comes next, but he’ll be well aware of that. Of course, I’m hugely pessimistic about that actually happening because selfish cunts will be selfish cunts and vote the Tory/Nazi party back in within 5 years.

If you went any further south you’d trip over a penguin.

The cover of their collab album was great, tbh.

It’s never too late, rise up brothers and sisters! TO ARMS!!!! I went through as many of the female variety as I could, particularly working winter seasons in the Alps. I saw it as reparations for generations of oppression. It has to be said, they do bang like shithouse doors in the wind and love a bit of rough. ( Worst shag I’ve ever had was also some private school bint, related to Katherine Hamnett, who was the sailing instructor at a place in the Lakes I was a climbing instructor at. Like shagging a corpse with a minge like a flesh sleeping bag. ).