Monkeys Fist

I’ve lost the key. Fucking disaster.

England is further north, south, east and west than everywhere in Wales.

I’ve just checked, it seems Hartlepool centre is further north than Mull of Galloway, by fractions of a degree. 54.68 and 54.41 respectively. Close enough though.

Hartlepool is further north than the southernmost part Sweatyland. Please God, switch off my internet.

Ah! I was going to give you the “ Newcastle is further west than Southampton”, but it doesn’t apply to Poole. Edinburgh is well west of you though. Can you tell how bored I am?

He might just be a lovable bag of cuddly fun.

* you’re

Portsmouth?

Whereabouts do you live, again? I know it’s West Country-ish.

Shandy drinking la-las.

Omelettes and wicked-strong homegrown Bong then.

If we all plant vegetables in our gardens now, they’ll be harvestable just after we all die.

Released on 1st April, they just keep on giving

Aye, they mentioned mental health. Still, how do you deal with something like that happening out of the blue to your child?

Damn. I went with Kassandra, because, well… tits an’ that.

Fucking Hell. Girl, seven, stabbed to death by stranger in Bolton park https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-51999370

He’d upload them, but…you know…Tubs.

Was it Mung bean mince with Quinoa and Uruguayan Goosebery Dumplings, or just regular, fucking delicious, Mince and Dumplings?

Of course I lock it. I’ve enough on mind balancing on one foot with my thumb up my arse as I choke myself with an orange, without worrying about the Mrs. coming in looking for a hammer.

Or having a shed wank.

Same with daft cunts in Wales. Coronavirus: 'Unprecedented scenes' on Welsh hills https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-51994504

Shirley B.J. would be a great PM.

I quite like Peytar. Staggering to think, though, that at some point in her life that sweet old lady was such a kinky mare that she shagged a chimpanzee.

I chuckled at the Cyclops Eye goat scenario. Apparently I can go back to Kephallonia later and hunt for the “three eyed” goat. I am absolutely going to do that