Monkeys Fist

Is that Keith Huntly, the famous detective who caught the notorious Irn Bru Bandits, Banks O’Dee and Buckie Thistle?

When we battered them?

He used to come out with “factoids”, which he used to describe little facts. A factoid actually means an incorrect fact, but his use of it has now grown to the point where everyone uses it, making the word factoid its own factoid. Never liked the cunt.

An hour of that little shitweasel should turn any floating voters well away from the Torys though.

Having just watched Only Connect, I now know we needn’t worry about climate change. If my maths is correct, and growth is consistent, within 20 years the entire planet will be replaced by Victoria Coren’s tits. What a way to go.

How long did it take for your schoolmates to beat the accent out of you?

Hi Luke. We all think you’re really great. Lol, laterz!

Time to invest in Piz Buin.

Oh. My. God. Actual southern, shandy-drinking la la.

He’s not had a roast chicken with the Lambrini, we’ll be getting a dance video before 7pm.

“ Morning Mr. Gemmill, let’s change your nappy before breakfast!” ” Did I tell you about when I raped them women in the taxi queues?” ” Yes you did Mr. Gemmill, now lie back and pop your legs up” ” Why don’t my grandkids come round anymore?” ” Well,,they weren’t your Grandchildren were they Mr. Gemmill? I think the exclusion order is permanent.… now just hold still “ ” Did I tell you about when I raped them women in the taxi queues?“ ” Yes you did Mr. Gemmill, now, let’s go downstairs for brekkies and bingo” ” I’ve shit myself. Did I tell you about when I raped them women in the taxi queues?“ ” There there, we’ll just give you this little injection Mr. Gemmill, and you can go back to sleep…” Should’ve had steak, mate.

And who do you think will be feeding you puréed turnips and wiping up your piss when you’re stuck in Windy Meadows Bewilderment Home?

Their “guest” guitarist is definitely getting stuck in to Toyah, too.

That lass in the middle looks like Oz’s granny.

Is there any other way?

Not to mention him killing all the trans folk. What a bastard.

Ironic that he’s said this, when he’s notorious for not paying his bills.

Do you mean Andrew Cole?

This is listed in Reuters photo archive as “ Sew a fucken button on THAT. “

Apparently it’s a gift from one of Mad Dog’s first professional clubs , Munter Hunters Fc.

10 Interweb points to anyone who can correctly identify all the items on that table.

Mrs. Wykiki …

5-0, obviously. We need to step up to the mark here lads, and give a full account of our annihilation of these as PL and his mini bus full of Southern Ponces will obviously not be making the game due to overindulgence and/or arrest the night before. Any suggestions for titty-bars or warehouses* still welcome in PL’s “ Where the fuck can I take this lot without getting them chinned?” thread. * dyslexic pimp. @sammynb- this is your early dementia tag to find the match thread- you’re welcome. Edited title because “at home”.

Whilst I’m pleased we got the points, it would be good to finish a match without a player having another fucking injury- Wilson making himself a sling from his shirt in the dying minutes… he’s just come back ffs. I think Eddie touched on it in his last presser, but there needs to be a good, long look at why we’re getting so many injuries, beyond the fact we have a threadbare squad.