Monkeys Fist

Thought @wykikitoon would appreciate this…

Remember standing on the terraces of Level 7 back in 2015, eating cherry tomatoes and duck pizza. Best days of my lifetime.

I’d have Guardiola, just to fuck with the Manc mackems.

As a man of strong principles, my concerns about this potential takeover by the Saudis are, in order; 1. Will it make the mackem’s fucking explode? 2. Will we have to build a bigger trophy room? 3. Can we have Rafa back? 4. Will it make the mackem’s fucking explode? 6. How long has Messi got left before retirement? 7. I can’t count 8. Will it make the mackem’s fucking explode? 9. How many shitty Sheikh puns will Knight Ryder come out with 10. Do they chop people’s head off?

The Dude Abeids.

What does your ITK say @Dr Gloom?

What you’re not taking into account is what bitter fuckers they are, and how this will eat at their very core until they are nothing but empty shells of humanity, powered purely on all-consuming jealousy… a bit more than they usually are

Certainly hasn’t been winner stays on since 2007.

pm me babes, yeah?

Everyone knows where they are. They’re in League One, the third division.

You and Gemmill - the Duracell Brothers.

Sorry.

Can someone photoshop Johnson and Patel as Ted Bovis and Gladys Pugh?

I’ve read the replies to that tweet, same pic is one of the first responses Some beauties.

I was there late eighties until end of ‘96. I have done some routes in the Verdon, although by then my herbal intake was more leisurely 😄, but aye, further up the gorge the exposure on those routes is fucking mental- closest you can get to Yosemite in Europe, arguably. What’s pretty freaky at first, is that you usually abseil from the top of the gorge to a set of bolts part-way down the cliff, clip on to them while your buddy comes down, then pull your ropes down and repeat the process for however many pitches your route is- often between 4-6. Certainly gets you committed from the get go 😂 ( I was an open canoe instructor whilst I was down there, in another gorge a few hours west of the Verdon).

It had its downsides… aside from the carefree life, quality drugs, filthy women, great travel and magnificent climbing it afforded, money was tight.

Fucking muppets.

Oh aye, 😂 There’s a fantastic documentary on Netflix about the history of Yosemite climbing. The 60s and 70s are particularly mental. There’s a proper mentalist lives in North Wales called John Redhead, did some of the most extreme climbing in Britain in the 80s and 90s, was fond of a drop of Lysergic 😂

Rob Lee?

I loved watching the Goodies with my Dad. His comedy credentials were fucking top notch. Edit; If I’m not mistaken, he co-wrote, and originally performed The Yorkshiremen sketch, with Cleese and Chapman. Bloody Luxury. RIP

I should add, my experience of being stoned where I was living was very different to the usual sitting in your mate’s bedsit freaking out to Zappa 😂 I was never indoors- the only time you were was going to the shitter. Getting stoned often involved nighttime canoeing, going on “boar hunts” armed with paddles, which was basically a bunch of giggling idiots stumbling through the bondou and freaking out at the slightest sound of a wild pig, or, after the wine kicked in, lying around the fire staring at the stars and talking bollocks, ( which is actually pretty close to my initial statement ) My point being, we were used to doing fairly active shit when we were off our nut.

When you were climbing within your comfort zone/ability it was incredible after a little herbal- all the climbing in Southern France is bolted, so as long as you clip the bolts, it’s safe as houses. When you pushed the boat out and tried something above your ability, it was generally very intense, ( not usually detrimentally so, just made you focused as fuck), or, you’d just say “Fuck it, let’s go to the Cafe” 😂

I used to live in tent for 6 months a year, for nearly ten years. 😄 Much of the first few years I was perma-stoned on some top-notch Mediterranean/Moroccan produce. Music was a mix of Floyd, jazz, pre-Brit Pop English guitar bands, and some of that electric nonsense 😂