Monkeys Fist

These cubes aren’t moving. ( day-drinking isn’t good for me ).

“Bong eyed cucks”

Aerised YP.

Didn’t say I didn’t, either

Give over man. The Saudis chopped up and dissolved a well known journalist, do you really think a few bleeding heart twatterers will stop them investing?

Go on son!

Do you eat pork ( I know )? Would it be any good in a Chinese Sticky pork marinade? (I’m going to stop now before I go full Finbarr )

Not in a Yorkshire fucking accent it’s not.

Thats standard practice isn’t it? One for the pot, two for the chef.

Tunnel buddies with Shearer? What an honour

I never actually said I banged Joe Brown’s lassie, but I’m happy to run with the joke

No.

Disasters always get the biggest laughs 😂

Got 6 bottles of Wife Beater in for this week’s homemade chippy tea. I only need 75ml for the actual batter

The way they go on, you’d think they hold the record for Championship attendances?

Just for the record, I never banged Norman Hunter’s daughter.

Offshore is full of massive pricks, tbh.

And that’s only the top half.

But were you Banging on the bathroom floor?

That’s amazing footage, but it’s not the Troll A. I think that’s the Borgholm Dolphin This is the Troll A

I’m usually a proper cynical bastard when it comes to outbreaks of public emotion, but I’ve been out clapping every time ( it helps that my 9yr old is there welting the fuck out of a saucepan with a wooden spoon). Every time, a few more of the neighbours have had a little chat afterwards, always along the lines of “fuck Johnson and his cunt party”. My sister-in-law is an A&E nurse, she’s been in tears every time she’s heard it, so I’ll keep on, although next week I’m thinking of wearing Arab headgear But aye, if you clap, make sure you don’t vote Tory next time.

Fuck them. When we lift our first trophy, they’ll be wringing their soft little hands, you’ll be getting so lathered the neighbours will take you off the Christmas card list.

Nowt wrong with food banks …

We should make them do this to gain access to the press room

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